Somehow this month marks ten years since Tucker and I first sold most of our belongings and moved abroad. We really had no idea what we were getting into or how we were going to maintain the kind of life we knew we wanted, and even now, I’m not sure I could tell you how exactly we’ve managed to continue moving abroad again and again. I think it’s mostly been an experiment in just how flexible we can be, which is fitting because that’s one of the first skills you develop when you move abroad!
Over the past ten years, we went from the US to Poland and back to the US (to pay off all our student loans), and then we headed to China for a few years and then back to the US (this time for global lockdown), and then onto Mexico, and now Canada. It’s been a crazy decade to say the least, but the places we’ve lived and the people we’ve met have continued to shape us year after year in innumerable ways. And for this month’s somewhat reflective post, I want to share some of the many ways we’ve changed and grown as a result of our expat ways.
We’ve become flexible to the extreme
As I alluded to earlier, when I think of the many skills we’ve developed as a result of moving abroad, flexibility has to be at the top of the list. Whether it’s little things like using Celsius with some people and Fahrenheit with others or big things like not knowing where we’ll be living next year, we’ve gotten incredibly good at going with the flow. When I look back at my early observations from our first year abroad, it always makes me laugh at how hard it was for me to relinquish control. Now I feel like I struggle when I have too much control! It seems I’ve really grown to love letting the universe decide for me.
We’re totally fine with ambiguity
Another early observation I often made had to do with not always understanding what was going on around me. In unfamiliar places with new languages and customs, the level of ambiguity you experience on a daily basis skyrockets. Are we supposed to do something here? Should we ask about that? What does this mean? Questions like these and general uncertainty used to plague us. Until they didn’t. Until we learned that there’s really no wrong way, only different ways. Eventually, we also learned the difference between being expats as opposed to pioneers. Expats get to rely on the experiences of those who came before them, and we definitely do. But if/when that fails, we’ve also learned to simply accept not knowing.
We’re stoic bureaucracy-handlers
One of the most taxing parts of maintaining legal status as an expat has to be all the paperwork: visas, residencies, IDs, taxes, health cards, driver’s licenses, bank accounts, etc. The list is never-ending. After so many years and so many forms and appointments, I can very confidently say that bureaucracy is messy and incredibly frustrating everywhere. We now just assume every process will take a few attempts and several months (if not years) of our lives, which has really helped set expectations and allowed us to remain stoic and unfeeling while jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop. Government office waiting rooms are great places for mindful meditation, you know.
We’re accidental minimalists
In addition to becoming masters at handling immigration processes, we’ve also become expert movers. We know exactly what we need and want in our homes, and over the years, we’ve shed all the fluff. And whenever we happen to collect additional fluff, we’re systematic and unsentimental in removing it before the next move. People are often surprised that we’ve moved countries so many times with nothing but suitcases. Quite a few suitcases, but still. It’s actually pretty easy to do when I remember all the things we took on our first move that we never used. Or when I remember all the things we’ve used in a particular place that wouldn’t make sense anywhere else. These days we tend to take a lot more art with us and a lot fewer dead appliances.
We’re expert home-makers
Speaking of homes though, we’ve had a lot of them over the years. From country to country or even apartment to apartment, every place we’ve lived has always felt like home. Early on in our expat experience, someone advised me to prioritize setting up our home because we’d be surprised at how quickly “later” becomes “never”. Well, we took that to heart and always make sure our apartment is set up before tackling other tasks. We also work really hard to make sure we feel at home in the community as well, which means joining groups, meeting neighbors, learning names and faces. It can be difficult being the new people in town, but we’ve found the quicker we reach out, the quicker we feel at home.
We’re nothing if not adaptable
Another skill that makes itself known every time someone visits one of our far-flung homes is our adaptability. No dishwasher? No problem. Drinking hot water in summer? Sure, why not? Have to do everything over the phone? Got it. Everywhere we’ve called home has changed us in so many ways. Sometimes we forget what was normal for us before moving abroad because we’ve so strongly adapted to several different lifestyles now. This is how I know it doesn’t really matter where we live or what we do because the skill of adaptability is such a broad and encompassing one, that I know we’ll be just fine anywhere.
We’re always adopting new habits
Likely due to all the adapting we’ve had to do over the years, we’ve also gained quite an assortment of international habits. For example, at some point, we became a strict no-shoes-inside household, and when I think back to all the shoes that walked across our carpeted US apartment floors, I shudder. I also can’t believe we lived 25 years without an electric kettle! You’ll have to pry that out of our cold, dead hands now. Similarly, after living in both tea and coffee cultures, we now find ourselves enjoying both regularly. We also find ourselves checking sunset/sunrise times, the weather, and the air quality index more than most, which are all habits we picked up in different places at different times. It’s interesting to note which things stay behind in the places we leave versus which ones we take with us as the ghosts of homes’ past.
We’re an interesting mix of cultures to say the least
Similar to our eclectic mix of habits picked up from around the world, I would say that we ourselves have ended up a strange mix of all our homes. It’s rare that someone immediately places us as American. Even when hearing us speak, our accents don’t give much away, especially when speaking something other than English (you’re likely to hear a very strange combination of linguistic features depending on the day). We also have very strong inclinations toward European showerheads, the use of chopsticks, and what should and should not go on a taco. We self-identify as Polish-American-Canadian-Tapatío laowais, and we’ll happily talk your ear off about life in Poland, the US, Canada, Mexico, and/or China because each of those places is a part of us and always will be.
We’re excited to make every day an adventure
All these fun little quirks keep us tied to the places we used to call home, but one of the best parts of being a perpetual expat (no matter where we are) is the fact that every day becomes an adventure. The smallest tasks are new and exciting, and we never know what we’re going to learn. This is really why we keep doing it; why we haven’t “settled down” yet. We’ve learned to love the daily micro-adventures and mini-challenges that keep us on our toes and forever entertained. Every time we start over in a new place, we get to experience so many firsts again. We get to find a new set of favorites and develop new habits that only enhance our lives. An adventure a day certainly keeps the boredom away!
We’re constantly learning and reflecting
And last, but not least, all this moving and growing and changing allows us to continually learn and reflect. Before each move, we get to look back at our time in a given place and reflect on everything we did, all the changes we experienced, and what we could or should have done differently if given the chance. And then…we get another chance! I sometimes refer to Poland as our “first pancake” because with hindsight, it’s easy to see how we’ve continually gotten better at being expats. All these skills (and more) have been honed over the years, and we’ve learned how to make the most of our time in the places we call home. Of course, we also realize just how lucky we are, so to all our homes: thank you, dziękuję, xièxie, gracias, and merci for the best decade of our lives!
The second New Year (also known as the Chinese New Year or the Lunar New Year) has come and gone, and with it, possibly our last long winter break off together. Just like last year, the Chinese university semester break coincides with the holiday giving us several weeks off, which, of course, we put to good use! My program had its mid-year meeting and conference in the Philippines this year, and somehow, Tucker and I managed to squeeze in three (and a half) other destinations on our island hopping itinerary. You might have seen the hundreds of photos on Facebook, but I’d also like to share a few words about our time traveling in South Asia. To be honest, it’s a little surreal to be writing this as I watch the snow fall outside, but here we go!
Our first stop was Macau, a “special administrative region” of China. It gets this rather long name due to it being somewhere in between a province and another country entirely. It’s a part of China, but it’s also not China, which is actually one of the reasons we wanted to visit. We wanted to see if there were any noticeable differences. We also wanted to visit because we were eager for another taste of Portugal. Macau used to be a Portuguese colony and has retained quite a bit of the Portuguese flair in architecture, food, and language.
After a few days of strolling around Macau’s narrow alleyways, we took a massive speed boat (TurboJet) to our next destination just across the water: Hong Kong. This was actually our second trip to Hong Kong, but last time we didn’t quite get to everything on our list – this short stopover on the way to Midyear was our second chance. We had less than 24 hours in the city, but we managed to make it out to Lantou Island to see the incredible Buddha and cableway there, we took the bus to the top of Victoria Peak to watch the sunset over the city, and we went to Tim Ho Wan for the world’s cheapest Michelin Star eats. While I definitely preferred Macau’s laid back, European vibes, it’s hard to not like Hong Kong as well. Macau and Hong Kong are a couple of tiny islands (and respective peninsulas) that I highly recommend everyone to visit! No visas needed for US citizens! :)
All too soon it was time to fly to the Philippines and get to work. When we first landed in the Philippines it was chaos! Passengers getting up and grabbing their bags before the plane had stopped moving; people sitting on seemingly every inch of the floor in the airport; signs for flight changes being moved by hand from gate to gate; loud cover songs of 2000’s hits playing in every corner of the terminal, etc. All I could think was “Well, we’re definitely not in China anymore.” As we sat waiting for our flight though, the newness wore off, and it was easy to see that the Philippines are just plain fun! In fact, their national slogan is “It’s more fun in the Philippines”, and I totally got it. Smiles were everywhere! The flight attendants wore bright yellow polos and hummed songs as we boarded. Fellow passengers sang along with the music they heard on the plane. The joy was contagious!
The first week we were in the Philippines I had to “work”. I attended meetings with the other Fellows, we planned and executed various group activities, and generally bonded and reconnected after our last five months apart in our various host cities/countries. For this part of Midyear, we were put up in a resort on Mactan Island, which was incredibly fancy and not the sort of place Tucker and I usually go for (I’ve never heard so many “yes ma’ams” and “hello sirs” in my life). It was beyond beautiful though, and luckily Tucker was able to take full advantage of the beach, the snorkeling, the infinity pool, etc. However, after a few days completely devoid of local culture, I was definitely ready to get to our next location: Cebu City. It was here that we attended and presented at a local teacher training conference held at the University San Jose Recoletos. Easily my favorite part of Midyear, I was able to meet and interact with many local Filipina/o teachers and get a much better feel for what life in the Philippines is really like.
Once the conference and Midyear were officially over, Tucker and I hadn’t quite had our fill of the Philippines, so we headed to Manila for some good old-fashioned touristing. Manila is an incredible city with some of the best food I’ve had in a long while. Their specialty seemed to be fusion restaurants. We had super interesting and delicious food at Loco Manuk (Filipino, Peruvian, and Chinese) and El Chupacabra (Filipino and Mexican), and saw a Japanese-French Cafe that looked amazing as well! In addition to the incredible food, we also had a great time walking around Manila Bay, grabbing a drink in Intramuros (the Old Town), and watching the Super Bowl at a local expat bar. The Philippines boasts an amazing mix of languages and cultures, and it was so fun for us to be able to use English (commonly spoken there) to ask about a million questions of our taxi drivers, servers, and any other local we could find. We learned about the strong influence of Catholicism in the Philippines, the new-ish movement towards environmental clean up, and most of all, we learned how welcoming and friendly the people are.
At this point we were over the halfway mark of our trip, and my body had had enough. I left Manila with a fever and several other ailments (not so fun to describe), but I was still super excited to see Singapore! We watched Crazy Rich Asians on another leg of this trip in preparation, but the movie doesn’t do the city justice. It is by far the cleanest city I’ve ever seen, and has represented its multicultural population incredibly well! Singapore is made up of large groups of ethnic Chinese, Malays, and Indians, and each has a dedicated area of the city where you can find their respective religious buildings, restaurants, and specialized grocery stores. Even with the diverse neighborhoods in place, the city as a whole really seems to cater to each group in so many ways. Colorful, artistic, and clearly very well-off, there are so many lovely parks and public spaces in this city, where we saw families wearing everything from tank tops and sundresses to saris and hijabs. I often talk about places where there is a mix of cultures, but its usually a watered down mix, where clearly one culture has dominated, but in Singapore they were all there loud and proud. It was amazing!
It turns out KL was full of surprises for us. The majority of people living in Malaysia are Muslim, so it was much more conservative than I was expecting. Most everyone wore long sleeves and pants despite the high temperatures, and the presence of beautiful and delicious “mocktails” was at an all time high for me. KL is actually not on an island, and to us, it seemed like we lost that friendly, carefree island-vibe as soon as we arrived. Interactions were a bit more abrupt and businesslike – like they usually are, I suppose. Another surprise was the color we saw all around us – both the Philippines and Singapore were incredibly colorful cities, but I think any city would be hard pressed to match the vibrancy of KL. Brightly colored murals everywhere, some of the lushest, greenest trees I’ve ever seen against the bluest of skies, and the insanely colorful Batu Caves just outside the city made for some incredible scenes (and photos).
✔ Learn to play Mahjong
✔ Visit a Buddhist Temple
✔ Perfect our Chopsticks Skills
✔ Hike Huangshan
✔ Share Hotpot and Selfies with Friends
✔ Devour the Dim Sum in South China
✔ Wander around West Lake
✔ Feel like a Kid at Disneyland Shanghai
✔ Learn about the Minority Groups in China
✔ Celebrate Dragon Boat Festival
✔ Drink Tsingtao from the Source
✔ Walk along the Great Wall
✔ Make Dumplings from Scratch
✔ Crisscross the Yangtze
As always, time seems to be whizzing by, and somehow the halfway point of this year’s EL Fellow Program is only a few days away. For my region’s midyear meeting, we’ll be gathering in Thailand and reflecting, sharing, and discussing what we’ve all been doing these last 5 months. I can’t wait to hear about the other Fellows and their experiences, but I also wanted to take some time to write down some of my own. I did something similar when I was halfway through my Fulbright grant, and I was amazed at how it shaped my focus for the next semester. So here it is: my progress report.
Teaching: The most familiar part of my job is the teaching. I teach English/Linguistics courses to third year English majors at Anhui University in Hefei, China. Their specializations run from linguistics and translation to literature and journalism, and they have a vast array of future goals and career paths in mind. I absolutely love spending time with them in class, hearing their candid thoughts about American culture and the English language as we discuss the challenges of public speaking and critical thinking. As a teacher at AHU, it’s also part of my job to attend and present at Linguistics-related conferences (like ELTAM’s TESOL Conference in Mongolia and the Teacher’s Development Conference in Wuhan). I’ve also been asked to participate as a coach, a judge, or even a “question master” for the various language competitions that the university and the country seem to love! This semester I’ve been involved with the English writing competition, the public speaking competition, and the American culture competition, just to name a few. Additionally, as a somewhat rare (in Hefei at least), native-speaking English teacher, I was invited to lead the university’s English Corner, which meets every other week. This is a chance for dedicated students wanting additional practice to meet up, play some games, and have general conversation in English. It’s also a place where I can ask all my cultural questions, have a little fun with the students, and at the end of the day, call it “work”!
Teacher-Training: Another part of my job is teacher-training. Teachers in China are very interested in Western teaching styles, and are even more interested in teachers trained in Applied Linguistics (like me). For this reason, I usually have at least 1 or 2 visiting observers (usually other English teachers or graduate students) in my classes each week, taking notes on everything from the way I dress to the exact words that come out of my mouth. Luckily I have been able to observe a few of them in return, and we’re working together on blending the education styles of the two countries, as well as discussing concepts like classroom atmosphere and student-teacher roles. I’ve also been really active in facilitating online professional development courses/webinars for my colleagues. They’re extremely motivated teachers, but they don’t always have access to resources like that. Luckily the Fellow program (with the help of American English) provides them in spades. Workshops are another large part of my work here. At my host institution, my supervisor and I have set up monthly seminars where I, a visiting Fellow from another part of China, and occasionally local professors give presentations and workshops to the English department at AHU. I’ve also been able to travel to other universities in China to give these workshops and participate in their professional development activities. It has been a great way to meet new teachers, collaborate with other Fellows, and learn what life is like in other parts of China.
Cultural Exchange: Possibly my favorite part of being in a foreign country is the cultural exchange. Whether it’s through our traveling around the country or through our grocery store encounters, I never get bored of learning the little things about life in a new place. Tucker and I have been very fortunate in the amount of travel we’ve been able to do thus far in and around China. In the last five months we’ve visited Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia and the Chinese cities of Beijing, Nanjing, Shanghai, Wuhan, Huangshan, Xi’an, and Harbin. Some visits were for work, others for pleasure, but all were in the name of cultural exchange. We’ve met so many amazing new friends, seen some absolutely incredible things, and, of course, added to our growing knowledge of this country and its culture. I’m also doing my best to share my experiences (big and small) not only with my students, friends, and colleagues here, but also with anyone else who’s interested (even if it’s just my mom). I’ve become a “social media person”, posting consistently on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and WeChat (one of China’s biggest social media apps). I’ve also surprised myself by adding to this blog more than my previously dictated “once a month”. It turns out there is just so much I want to share about living in China! It’s also really fun to share what life was like for us in the US. My colleagues are interested so they can add cultural aspects to their classrooms, my students are interested so they can connect further with the language, and my friends are interested so they can understand why we are so weird about some things (for example, the fact that we enjoy drinking cold water even in winter – weirdos!).
Expat Life: The last element of my time as an English Language Fellow in China has to be my experience of living the expat life. I decided quite a while ago that the expat life is the life for me, but now in my second year of actually living it, I decided to fully embrace the lifestyle. I’ve joined several expat groups here in Hefei and have met some amazing people that share so much in common with me and Tucker. We’ve had game nights, beer tastings, and other adventures that are made all the more fun by our shared experience of being the “outsiders” here. It’s amazing how quickly groups of expats become like family! Recently I’ve also become a “Warden”, which sounds like a bad thing, but it’s actually sort of a go-between for the US Consulates and any Americans living abroad. Of course, to me another important part of expat life is learning to blend in. Honestly, it’s a bit harder here than it was in Poland, but regardless, Tucker and I are studying Chinese and doing our best to live like locals. We buy our non-perishables from Taobao, we use WeChat or Alipay to pay for everything, and we’ve even been known to yell for the servers (fuwuyuan!) when needed. It’s been an incredibly exciting five months, full of new opportunities, unforgettable experiences, funny situations, personal developments, and so much more. I can’t wait to see what the next half will bring!
Happy holidays from Hefei! Tucker and I are now into our fifth month of living in China and have just made it through our first holiday season in the Far East. China is the first country we’ve lived in that doesn’t celebrate Christmas as a national holiday, so we were pretty curious to see what it would be like over here. I’ve collected about a month’s worth of holiday observations to share with everyone, so let’s get to it!
The Lead Up: Holiday decorations were everywhere! Early in December we started noticing Christmas decorations around the city: large, lighted trees, festive window stickers, red bows, etc. Our local supermarkets put up displays and seasonal aisles that sold everything from ornaments and stuffed Rudolphs to full-sized Santa animatronics (only mildly creepy). I had a great time buying a new set of Christmas décor (we now have a set on three separate continents) for our apartment here: stockings, lights, Santa hats, a small tree, etc. We were also able to find some seasonal treats like Andes candies, hot cocoa, and Ferrero Rochers as well. The malls were probably the biggest Christmas perpetrators with decorations on just about every store front, staircase, and atrium. People were often lined up to get their pictures with Santa or to enter the “Secret Wonderland”, which to us looked like a small, dark room with tons of white Christmas lights on the ceiling. Of course, many American chains like Starbucks and Dairy Queen also had their usual holiday specials advertised in the usual places, and Christmas music (particularly Jingle Bells) could be heard in most stores and restaurants throughout the month.
Dani Francuz Rose 