Ten Years an Expat

On September 6, 2025August 27, 2025 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

Somehow this month marks ten years since Tucker and I first sold most of our belongings and moved abroad. We really had no idea what we were getting into or how we were going to maintain the kind of life we knew we wanted, and even now, I’m not sure I could tell you how exactly we’ve managed to continue moving abroad again and again. I think it’s mostly been an experiment in just how flexible we can be, which is fitting because that’s one of the first skills you develop when you move abroad!

Over the past ten years, we went from the US to Poland and back to the US (to pay off all our student loans), and then we headed to China for a few years and then back to the US (this time for global lockdown), and then onto Mexico, and now Canada. It’s been a crazy decade to say the least, but the places we’ve lived and the people we’ve met have continued to shape us year after year in innumerable ways. And for this month’s somewhat reflective post, I want to share some of the many ways we’ve changed and grown as a result of our expat ways.

We’ve become flexible to the extreme

As I alluded to earlier, when I think of the many skills we’ve developed as a result of moving abroad, flexibility has to be at the top of the list. Whether it’s little things like using Celsius with some people and Fahrenheit with others or big things like not knowing where we’ll be living next year, we’ve gotten incredibly good at going with the flow. When I look back at my early observations from our first year abroad, it always makes me laugh at how hard it was for me to relinquish control. Now I feel like I struggle when I have too much control! It seems I’ve really grown to love letting the universe decide for me.

We’re totally fine with ambiguity

Another early observation I often made had to do with not always understanding what was going on around me. In unfamiliar places with new languages and customs, the level of ambiguity you experience on a daily basis skyrockets. Are we supposed to do something here? Should we ask about that? What does this mean? Questions like these and general uncertainty used to plague us. Until they didn’t. Until we learned that there’s really no wrong way, only different ways. Eventually, we also learned the difference between being expats as opposed to pioneers. Expats get to rely on the experiences of those who came before them, and we definitely do. But if/when that fails, we’ve also learned to simply accept not knowing.

We’re stoic bureaucracy-handlers

One of the most taxing parts of maintaining legal status as an expat has to be all the paperwork: visas, residencies, IDs, taxes, health cards, driver’s licenses, bank accounts, etc. The list is never-ending. After so many years and so many forms and appointments, I can very confidently say that bureaucracy is messy and incredibly frustrating everywhere. We now just assume every process will take a few attempts and several months (if not years) of our lives, which has really helped set expectations and allowed us to remain stoic and unfeeling while jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop. Government office waiting rooms are great places for mindful meditation, you know.

We’re accidental minimalists

In addition to becoming masters at handling immigration processes, we’ve also become expert movers. We know exactly what we need and want in our homes, and over the years, we’ve shed all the fluff. And whenever we happen to collect additional fluff, we’re systematic and unsentimental in removing it before the next move. People are often surprised that we’ve moved countries so many times with nothing but suitcases. Quite a few suitcases, but still. It’s actually pretty easy to do when I remember all the things we took on our first move that we never used. Or when I remember all the things we’ve used in a particular place that wouldn’t make sense anywhere else. These days we tend to take a lot more art with us and a lot fewer dead appliances.

We’re expert home-makers

Speaking of homes though, we’ve had a lot of them over the years. From country to country or even apartment to apartment, every place we’ve lived has always felt like home. Early on in our expat experience, someone advised me to prioritize setting up our home because we’d be surprised at how quickly “later” becomes “never”. Well, we took that to heart and always make sure our apartment is set up before tackling other tasks. We also work really hard to make sure we feel at home in the community as well, which means joining groups, meeting neighbors, learning names and faces. It can be difficult being the new people in town, but we’ve found the quicker we reach out, the quicker we feel at home.

We’re nothing if not adaptable

Another skill that makes itself known every time someone visits one of our far-flung homes is our adaptability. No dishwasher? No problem. Drinking hot water in summer? Sure, why not? Have to do everything over the phone? Got it. Everywhere we’ve called home has changed us in so many ways. Sometimes we forget what was normal for us before moving abroad because we’ve so strongly adapted to several different lifestyles now. This is how I know it doesn’t really matter where we live or what we do because the skill of adaptability is such a broad and encompassing one, that I know we’ll be just fine anywhere.

We’re always adopting new habits

Likely due to all the adapting we’ve had to do over the years, we’ve also gained quite an assortment of international habits. For example, at some point, we became a strict no-shoes-inside household, and when I think back to all the shoes that walked across our carpeted US apartment floors, I shudder. I also can’t believe we lived 25 years without an electric kettle! You’ll have to pry that out of our cold, dead hands now. Similarly, after living in both tea and coffee cultures, we now find ourselves enjoying both regularly. We also find ourselves checking sunset/sunrise times, the weather, and the air quality index more than most, which are all habits we picked up in different places at different times. It’s interesting to note which things stay behind in the places we leave versus which ones we take with us as the ghosts of homes’ past.

We’re an interesting mix of cultures to say the least

Similar to our eclectic mix of habits picked up from around the world, I would say that we ourselves have ended up a strange mix of all our homes. It’s rare that someone immediately places us as American. Even when hearing us speak, our accents don’t give much away, especially when speaking something other than English (you’re likely to hear a very strange combination of linguistic features depending on the day). We also have very strong inclinations toward European showerheads, the use of chopsticks, and what should and should not go on a taco. We self-identify as Polish-American-Canadian-Tapatío laowais, and we’ll happily talk your ear off about life in Poland, the US, Canada, Mexico, and/or China because each of those places is a part of us and always will be.

We’re excited to make every day an adventure

All these fun little quirks keep us tied to the places we used to call home, but one of the best parts of being a perpetual expat (no matter where we are) is the fact that every day becomes an adventure. The smallest tasks are new and exciting, and we never know what we’re going to learn. This is really why we keep doing it; why we haven’t “settled down” yet. We’ve learned to love the daily micro-adventures and mini-challenges that keep us on our toes and forever entertained. Every time we start over in a new place, we get to experience so many firsts again. We get to find a new set of favorites and develop new habits that only enhance our lives. An adventure a day certainly keeps the boredom away!

We’re constantly learning and reflecting

And last, but not least, all this moving and growing and changing allows us to continually learn and reflect. Before each move, we get to look back at our time in a given place and reflect on everything we did, all the changes we experienced, and what we could or should have done differently if given the chance. And then…we get another chance! I sometimes refer to Poland as our “first pancake” because with hindsight, it’s easy to see how we’ve continually gotten better at being expats. All these skills (and more) have been honed over the years, and we’ve learned how to make the most of our time in the places we call home. Of course, we also realize just how lucky we are, so to all our homes: thank you, dziękuję, xièxie, gracias, and merci for the best decade of our lives!

One Year in Mexico – What Have We Learned?

On February 19, 2022February 19, 2022 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

What a year! And what a question! As usual, the time is flying by, and the number of stories, facts, and lessons we’ve accumulated are innumerable. However, I thought it might be fun to share a few of the things that have stuck out this past year as we’ve continued adapting to our new home in Guadalajara, Mexico.

The Lifestyle

One of the first things that is easily recognizable as soon as someone enters Mexico is its vibe. Totally unique and bursting with energy, Mexico (and Guadalajara in particular) had an immediate effect on our mentality. Moving from China back to the US with Canada on the horizon during a global pandemic definitely had us in a more serious mindset. Luckily, only a few days in Mexico had us feeling considerably more relaxed.

More than relaxed actually – tranquilo is the word. The week we arrived in Mexico, I remember walking through a park and watching a man literally stop to smells the flowers. My American go-go-go brain couldn’t compute at first. But that was really all it was. He stopped, smelled the flowers, and went back to his walk. It was the first of many muy tranquilo instances we’ve encountered this year. You can’t help but slow down and ease up, even in a major city like Guadalajara. I have to imagine this year has been significantly better for my blood pressure!

In addition to feeling more relaxed, we’ve also been re-learning the concept of divertido (fun). One image that will forever be ingrained in my head is that of a man we saw in Ajijic riding a horse down the middle of a road while simultaneously browsing his phone and downing a cerveza. He was definitely having fun. But it’s not just the so-called magic towns that have fun. We live a block away from the party street of GDL, and we hear ALL the fun. I know for some that sounds like a nightmare (light sleepers beware), but for us, it feels like we’re having a party every weekend. Even if we’re just in our PJs watching TV at a comfortable distance.

Another aspect of our new lives in Mexico has to be living in the moment (o espontáneamente). Sometimes it seems like either something is done right then or else it’ll be “ahorita” (which basically means never). A good example of this would be the “afiladores” or “knife sharpeners”. Every week from our apartment we can hear a whistle and a shout from the afiladores who walk the neighborhood announcing their presence so residents in need can grab their knives and run down for an impromptu sharpening. So far, I’ve yet to attempt this, but maybe ahortia…

The Lessons

Of course, adapting to the lifestyle doesn’t happen overnight. We’re basically still fumbling our way through life’s daily routines, making error after error as we go, but for me that’s where all the fun is. The laughs we get from the mistakes we make along with the little annoyances or oddities that give us a window into our own cultural confines definitely make all the ambiguity and confusion worth it.

Most likely our biggest area of failure revolves around language (as it has in every one of our previous homes abroad). One that is still making us laugh actually occurred in the privacy of our own vehicle on the long drive down. The GPS kept saying we were headed toward Oeste, but neither of us had heard of that city or ever saw it on the map. Turns out “oeste” just means west in Spanish. How had we never learned the cardinal directions? Other language faux pas include my use of the word “cansada” rather than “casada” (“tired” instead of “married”) when asked my civil status, and Tucker’s continual struggle with the pronunciation of “galleta” versus “cajeta” (“cookie” or “caramel”) – for the record, I prefer cajeta.

Another big lesson (mostly for Tucker) this year has been within the realm of driving. Driving in a foreign country is always challenging, but when you add increased frequency, the lessons just keep on coming. For example, we’ve just about reached our lifetime quota of driving through three-lane roundabouts. Still not always sure the best practices there, though. We’ve also realized that “yielding to flow” is not as easy as it sounds. But my personal favorite has been listening to forgotten 80s hits everywhere we go. The radio stations here absolutely love to play Rasputin, Take On Me, and the like.

Glorieta de los Niños Héroes – pure chaos

Shopping in Mexico has also taught us a few lessons over the past year. We had previously learned that we might be expected to sticker our own produce before checking out (thanks Poland and China), but in Mexico, they thankfully do that at the registers. However, here it’s the bakery and cosmetics sections that are separate in most grocery stores, requiring separate check-outs/payments. We definitely lost a carrot cake in this learning process. Another fun grocery store occurrence is the covering up of any cartoon mascots on food products. There’s a law in Mexico that banned characters like Chester Cheeto and Tony the Tiger in an effort to combat childhood obesity and skewed marketing tactics. When we buy products imported from the US, there’s very often a huge sticker covering up some well-known faces.

Other Surprising Tidbits

In all honesty, every time I write a post like this, it’s hard to choose what to put in and what to save for in-person stories. I usually try to group our experiences in some way, but there are so many things we come across that are really in a world of their own. Things like…

Taco facts. Tacos are a way of life in Mexico, and we’ve learned a lot about how to rate, make, and eat a taco. First of all, two corn tortillas are a must for any self-respecting taco. We’ve heard rumors that in El Norte you can get flour tortillas, but I don’t know, it seems sort of sacrilegious now. Sadly, I also found out that putting crema on your tacos is totally fresa (uppity or snobbish). In fact, the purist tacos should have only 5 things: tortillas, meat, onion, cilantro, and lime. Of course, the final addition to any taco is a good salsa, but I could (and might seriously) write an entire post about salsa in Mexico.

Another discovery in our early Mexico days was the constant morning cowbells. It reminded us of the “bring out your dead” scene of Monty Python, but in reality, it’s the call of the garbage collectors. There aren’t traditional bins in downtown GDL (and good thing too because the sidewalks are well-trafficked and the sun is warm), so instead of a weekly collection day, each morning the bells are rung, and if you have a full bin, you set your bag outside for collecting as they pass by.

Last but not least, I thought I’d end on a cultural tidbit that I’m not sure if I find cute or creepy. When children lose their teeth in the US, the Tooth Fairy visits their room while they sleep, taking the tooth and leaving some money (also somewhat of a mix between cute and creepy to be honest…). And kids here in Mexico experience a similar swap; however, it’s not a fairy that makes the trade. It’s the Ratón de los Dientes (or the Tooth Mouse). Makes me wonder if Mickey’s got a collection of teeth somewhere in the Kingdom.

Anyway, that’s what we’ve been up to during our first year in Mexico. Picking it all up as we go along and having a ton of fun in the process. We’re currently busy renewing our residencies for an additional 3 years, so I think the learning has only begun! ¡Deseanos suerte!

Fun Facts and Features of Mexican Spanish

On July 13, 2021July 13, 2021 By Dani Francuz Rose1 Comment

It’s pretty safe to say I’ve been learning and using quite a bit of Spanish as of late. Living abroad, immersed in a new language and culture tends to push certain language lessons to the forefront (like how to order food, how to pay your bills, etc.), but recently, I decided I wanted more lessons, formal lessons. So, I started taking intensive Spanish courses at the University of Guadalajara. It has been so much fun to be a student again and to learn so much about the Spanish language, a language that has been strikingly absent in my life prior to this move. I took Latin classes in high school and (mostly) French in university before focusing on Polish and Chinese, so for me Spanish is super exciting and feels brand new. In fact, it’s so exciting and new that I want to share some of the things I have loved most about getting to know good ol’ español.

1 The Arabic Influence

The first thing I noticed right off the bat was the huge Arabic influence. Of course, I know Spain and the Arab empires had a history (to put it mildly), but I was still really surprised at the number of daily-use Spanish words that have a strong Arabic flair. My favorite of which is definitely “ojalá”. Ojalá means “hopefully” in Spanish, and as soon as I heard it, I knew there was an “allah” connection in there. The sound and use are super similar to the expression “inshallah”, which I’ve been hearing my Saudi students say for years. Now I think I use “ojalá” almost as frequently as they use “inshallah”, and I absolutely love it. The name Guadalajara is actually another example of Arabic influence. It means “valley of the stone” in Arabic. Other common words with Arabic roots are: alberca (pool), arroz (rice), jarabe (syrup), naranja (orange), sandía (watermelon), taza (cup), and zanahoria (carrot).

This is what comes to mind when I think “alberca”

2 The Drama

Another feature of Spanish that I immediately loved was the drama or passion that is imbedded directly into the language. For example, to say “I’m sorry” in Spanish, you might use “lo siento”. However, if you translate the phrase literally, it means something more like “I feel it”, which I feel has a bit more strength to it. Another super common expression in Spanish is “me gusta _____”, which is generally translated as “I like _____”; however, grammatically, it’s more like saying “I am pleased by ______”. I feel a little Victorian and definitely a tad dramatic when I translate phrases like these in my head (“Yes, the tacos please me immensely, thank you kind sir”). I can also feel the emotion in some of the vocabulary/etymology divergences as well. “Pets” in Spanish are “mascotas”, which feels so much stronger to my English brain. I also love the vivid images given to “word searches” and “ironing boards” in Mexican Spanish, which are “sopa de letras” (letter soup) and “burros de planchar” (ironing donkeys), respectively.

3 The Specificity

Something else that jumped out at me pretty early on in my Spanish crash course was the specificity of the language. The first example I was met with was the fact that in Spanish I can be American (“americana”) or I can be United Statesian (“estadounidense”). This is a specification I really wish was just as easy and natural to make in English. Another good example is the term “treintañeros” or thirty-somethings, which is a word that this particular treintañera has found quite useful. Of course, there is also a seemingly endless supply of words for taco-like things: tacos, vampiros, dorados, gringas, guisados, etc. We’re honestly still figuring out all the particulars there, but it’s not just Mexican dishes that require this level of specificity, the ingredients often call for it too: for example, the difference between tomate and jitomate. From my understanding, tomates are green and rather small, whereas jitomates are your general Romas, beefsteaks, etc. Neither of which should be confused with my personal favorite: jitomates cherry.

4 The Slang

Another fun feature (of every language really) is the slang. And no, I don’t necessarily mean bad words, just words that are used in a more playful way. Some of my recent Spanish favorites include:

-Chafa (crappy)

-Chavorucco (someone older that acts young)

-Chido (cool)

-Chin (darn)

-Codo (literally “elbow”, figuratively “stingy”)

-Crudo (literally “raw”, figuratively “hungover”)

-Fresa (stuck up/snobby)

-Garrón (freeloader)

-Güey (dude)

-Moja pendejos (literally “wet idiots”, figuratively “annoying drizzly rain”)

-Naco (trashy/tacky)

5 The Trip-ups

But perhaps the most fun (and memorable) part of learning a new language are the missteps. Language is tricky and one slip of the tongue or change of a vowel and you could be saying something completely different. For example, when I was asked if I have a boyfriend or spouse. Instead of saying, “sí, soy casada” (yes, I’m married), I said “sí, soy cansada” (yes, I’m tired). I’m pretty sure it sounded like I was tired of being married. Haha! Sorry Tucker! Another slip-up I made recently reminded me of my students. In English there is always an issue with the pronunciation of “soup” and “soap”. They’re super similar words, but definitely not interchangeable. Well, I made the same kind of strange substitution when attempting to ask for soap (jabón), but instead asking for ham (jamón). Oops! Sometimes the missteps can be a bit more extreme as well. When trying to recall the general word for seafood (mariscos), I actually said something not so nice in Spanish, and promptly got a lesson in pronunciation as well as political correctness.

I’ve been having an amazing time learning and using such an incredibly rich and fun language. Making new friends and discussing the intricacies of linguistics (or else trying to ignore them completely and just speak) has continually reinforced all the reasons I love living abroad and being (currently) surrounded by all things español. ¡Qué buenas ondas! Ojalá this is only the beginning!

30 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 30 Years

On April 13, 2020April 17, 2020 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

This month I turned 30, which of course has me reflecting. Reflecting on the now three decades of life I’ve lived, and perhaps more importantly, on the three decades of lessons I’ve learned. I truly feel I learn something each and every day, and sometimes these lessons are what I consider to be “life lessons”, nuggets of advice that I try to take with me and live by, not just in the moments that test me, but throughout all the moments I’ve been given.

Of course, this can be tricky to do – there’s a lot to process in our daily lives, and it can be hard to focus on keeping the things we’ve learned front and center. For this reason, for my 30^th birthday, I’ve listed out 30 things (in no particular order) that I personally try to remember and further infuse into each of my currently 15 million+ minutes of life.

You can always learn something. At any time, from any person, in any situation, there is always a way to learn and grow.

Ask questions. One of the best ways I know to learn and grow is by asking questions. I used to be embarrassed to be the person who always had a question or two, but now I realize how valuable questions can truly be for our own understanding and for others’.

Try everything. Now I just think of the Zootopia song, but honestly, it’s great advice: try anything and everything. Always be open to new things because you never know what you might discover.

Experience and wisdom are not necessarily age-based. We have a tendency to believe that our added years bring us wisdom, and while for many of us it feels that way as we continue to progress through our lives, I don’t think age and experience/wisdom are mutually inclusive. It’s important to remember that each person brings their own unique experience and wisdom to the table, and that respect should have no age limit.

There will always be someone _________ (insert comparative adjective here) than you. It’s no use chasing labels like “the best _______” or “the most _________” because somewhere out there someone will burst that bubble. We really shouldn’t compare ourselves because we’re just not the same.

Live your own life. Speaking of not comparing, our lives and choices should also go on without any rivals. We commonly talk about the detriment social media has on this regard, but keeping up with the Jones’ isn’t a new concept, and it has never been healthy.

Work to live don’t live to work. Somewhat morbidly, I like to read what people say about their lives when they’re close to the end, and one of the most common threads is that “work took up too much time, focus, and energy”. We need to work, but our work days aren’t what we’ll look back on in the end.

Find things that make you happy and do them often. So when you’re not working, find and do things that you like. Enjoy your hobby, spend time with people you love, take trips, do all the things!

Keep moving forward; always have a goal. Possibly the opposite problem of living just to work, is living without a purpose or goal. It’s never easy to decide in which direction to go, but having any direction at all can often spur the most incredible, unexpected opportunities.

We are our own captains driving this ship. I heard this in a yoga class once, and while it was true in the moment (on a physical/exercise-based level), it’s also true in the grand scheme of life. We get to choose so many things for ourselves day in and day out. Make those decisions count.

Home is what you make it. Another very personal lesson for me after years of having a not-so-traditional “home”. I’m not exactly sure I’ll ever settle on “where” my home is, but I’ve found that the place itself is not important at all. Who you’re with, what you do with your time and space, this is what makes a place feel like home.

Stay positive. Especially right now, it can seem impossible to see the glass as half-full, but there’s always a silver lining and “happiness can be found even in the darkest of places” if you keep looking. Staying positive not only helps us get through tough times, but it allows us to move forward with hope for a better future.

Complaining doesn’t change anything. Shockingly, complaining won’t help solve any problems, and, in fact, it might actually make you feel worse. Ignore the impulse and skip ahead to the possible solutions or mindset changes that are needed instead.

Think first, act second. The human existence version of “measure twice, cut once”. Our actions can have drastic consequences, so we better be sure to act only after conscious consideration.

Some things don’t need to be said. Together with thinking before acting, we should definitely also think before speaking. I’ve had to edit a lot of papers in my day, so I’ve learned the art of reticence. I really love the proverb: “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”

Focus on doing good/being good. We love wholesome memes and feel-good stories, so we should work on being a part of them ourselves. How can we actively do more good? Imagine how much more good there would be in the world if we all worked on this!

Believe in something. Whether it’s your faith, your passion, or even yourself, having something (or some things) to believe in can really help narrow down your goals, choices, behaviors, etc.

People are more alike than different. Another truth that makes itself known to me every day is that we are all more alike than different. It’s fun to share and learn from our little differences, like customs, slang, preferences, etc. But ultimately, we’re all human, and we’re so much better off together.

Empathy defines us as human. As with most virtues, we can choose which ones to cultivate and bring into greater focus, and for me, empathy is one I would very much like to continue striving for. In our individualistic society, it’s so easy to say “everyone for themselves”, but that is the very last thing I want for our collective future.

Try to build a longer table not a taller fence. Another great quote that I try to live by. Our connection and cooperation bring us together and strengthen our bonds like nothing else. We’re truly all in this together.

Awareness and open-mindedness are necessary for growth. We simply cannot hope to improve or progress without awareness and open-minded thinking. It can at times feel uncomfortable or strange, but the end results can be truly life-changing.

Embrace and then learn from your mistakes. Easy to say, tough to do, but so useful if it can be managed. We often tell our kids “mistakes are how you learn”, so let’s take our own advice for once!

Don’t dwell on hindsight. Another task that seems easy until you actually try it. Everything looks so different in hindsight, but we can’t get caught up in the “shoulda, coulda, woulda”. It’s impossible to go back and do it again, so do the best you can in the moment and then pull an Elsa and let it go.

Patience is a virtue (and at times an absolute lifesaver). The more we can work on this particular skill, the happier we’ll all be. Trust me patience is precious.

Be thankful and reflect on how/why. We all know we should be grateful for what we’ve been given in this life. It could always be worse, after all. Gratitude can really give us that big picture perspective and prompt so many other positive thoughts and actions in our lives.

Perception is everything. We each see the world a little differently, and it’s important to always keep that in mind. The media isn’t the only one with bias; we each have our biases and filters, and we should be aware and thoughtful of our own and others’ perspectives.

Change is inevitable; flexibility is gift. Most people don’t like change (and while I typically thrive in it) sometimes I find myself rejecting change as much as the next person. Unfortunately as much as we might not want things to change, they undoubtedly will. Best adapt a strategy sooner rather than later!

Not always having the answer is freeing. I have a motto: embrace ambiguity. It’s healthy to not have all the answers, and even healthier to recognize that we don’t.

Drink more water. Just do it; you won’t regret it.

Don’t be afraid to share. Contribute, participate, commiserate, teach, post, whatever! We all have something valuable to add to this world, so let’s do that.

I’m happy to be able to share my lessons with whoever is interested enough to read this, and I’d love to hear some of your most important life lessons. What did you learn in your first thirty years or even in the last thirty days? What do you try to work into your everyday thoughts and actions? We’ve got lots of time to reflect, and with all the people out there, the amount of lessons we can learn from each other is limitless!

Traveling and Learning

On June 8, 2019December 6, 2023 By Dani Francuz Rose2 Comments

54436949_10219110534782558_5021852581991809024_n — Bus Selfie!

I really love traveling, and recently I’ve been reflecting on why exactly I feel so strongly about it. Is it the break from daily life? A chance to meet new people? Why does anyone choose to travel? I think Tucker enjoys it so much because he loves to try anything new, and going to new places is the perfect way to do that. But I’m not as fond of new things (especially new foods) as he is; I have a different motivation. I like to travel because, ultimately, I like to learn. Originally, I thought I’d be a lifelong student because of my love of learning; however, that turned out to be pretty uneconomical. Fortunately, just after graduation (only a few months after we got married) Tucker and I took our first trip overseas, and I found it: a new way to continue learning – through exploring the world around me.

During our subsequent travels I have been amazed at what we’ve ended up learning: geography, history, culture, psychology, self-awareness, the list goes on and on. So this is the force driving my not-so-easily-sated addiction, but thankfully, I’ve also been given ample opportunities to get my fix. Here are the places we’ve traveled and some of the things we’ve learned during my two years as an English Language Fellow (August 2017-July 2019):

Beijing

43823145_10217851094697343_3261443970961506304_n — Hefei

Hefei, Anhui – where we learned about HOME

Through traveling, I think one of the things we’ve learned the most about is the concept of “home”. We’ve learned that a home can really be made anywhere, and that connections with neighbors and friends are absolutely necessary for a place to truly feel like home. In fact, we have often felt closer to the friends we’ve made during our brief stints abroad because these shared experiences bond people together in an incredible way. We become instant family with other expats, and our Chinese friends are literally our lifelines! It’s such an interesting dynamic that definitely opened up our views of family and home. Another interesting aspect of our new perspective on “home” is how well we actually know it. Going into our last two new homes we haven’t known anything about them. Nothing about the neighborhoods we’d be in or even anything past what Wikipedia says about the cities/regions they’re in. This has given us a new outlook on what it means to truly know where you live. We’ve had an amazing time learning more about the places we’ve called home, and it’s made me curious about the places we used to call home and how well we actually knew them.

Nanjing, Jiangsu

22310480_10214825975111244_8420312030420368634_n — Mongolia

Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar & Gorkhi-Terelj)

Shanghai

Wuhan, Hubei

Huangshan & Hongcun, Anhui

Xi’an & Lintong, Sha’anxi

Harbin, Heilongjiang

Thailand (Chiang Mai & Bangkok)

27459139_10215799887458444_8118480623873599742_n — Cambodia

Cambodia (Siem Reap & Phnom Penh) – where we learned about CONFLICT

In addition to learning about our home (and our views of it), traveling to different places has allowed us to take a closer look at how others view the same places and how they view their own homes. This has led to a better understanding of conflicts and global perspectives, which I am endlessly interested in. When we visited Cambodia, for example, I was immediately struck by their relationship with Thailand. We took a bus from Thailand to Cambodia, and walked across the border through immigration, where the welcome was, well, not so welcome. Cambodia has had a rough history, with its neighbors and with many foreign nations, and that has left an impression on the population. And it’s hard to deny their feelings, especially when one of the other most noticeable features of Cambodia was the number of missing limbs, mostly caused by landmines still implanted within their borders decades after the end of the conflict with Vietnam. The US has its perspective on our many conflicts, but every country, and every person has their own views, which are extremely important to learn in order to really begin understanding each other.

Hong Kong

28056090_10215929639622167_296978710011137587_n — Guangzhou

Shenzhen & Guangzhou, Guangdong

Hangzhou, Zhejiang

Sanhe, Anhui

Badaling, Beijing – where we learned about PERCEPTION

On the topic of perception, I’d be amiss if I didn’t mention the fact that traveling has broken pretty much every stereotype I’ve ever had about a place or a group of people. When we traveled with my family in China, it was amazing to watch those stereotypes break for someone other than myself. My parents realized pretty quickly that China was nothing like they had imagined, and Tucker and I have done the same thing in every place we’ve visited. Our perspectives are shaped through all sorts of things (the news, education, movies, etc.), but they’re always seen through our own individual filters as well as through the filters of the sources of information. This has led to many different perspectives on many different things, but seeing and experiencing something for yourself gives you the best insight you could ask for. One of my favorite travel quotes comes from Aldous Huxley: “to travel is to learn that everyone was wrong about other countries.” Even when comparing your experiences with someone else who has been to the same place, a difference in perspective is almost guaranteed, but that’s what makes it so interesting!

31184987_10216476097443271_453332385989628214_n — Badaling

Suzhou, Jiangsu

Kunming & Mile, Yunnan

Australia (Sydney, Port Macquarie, Brisbane, Airlie Beach, Cairns)

36853569_10217054960034474_3599223915928354816_n — Australia

Haikou, Hainan

Qingdao, Shandong

Guilin, Xingping, & Longjin, Guangxi – where we learned about FAMILY

Traveling with family has taught us a lot as well. First, it taught me to be thankful for our family members who are willing and able to travel with us. There have been many expats we’ve met whose family members have never visited them or even want to see the places their loved ones call home. It truly makes me thankful for the open-minded and adventurous spirits of our families. I have also learned a lot about taking care of other people’s needs. In China, independence really only comes with time because with no alphabet and very little English, trying to do things on your own can take a lot of effort and patience. Luckily for Tucker’s mom and aunt (and my parents), we were there to help them answer any questions and provide whatever they needed. Through these trips, I learned a lot about what is required to be responsible for someone other than myself 24/7, and it has left no question in my mind as to why we haven’t had any kids. Haha!

46436774_10218117969609049_117787609782026240_n — Fanchang

Jinshanling, Hebei

Wuhu & Fanchang, Anhui

Changsha, Hunan

Zhangjiajie, Hunan

Chaohu, Anhui – where we learned about the PAST

Another set of lessons we have undoubtedly received through our travels has been in regards to history. Coming from the New World, our “history” typically refers to the seventeenth century and onward, but traveling to other parts of the world, we’ve realized just how recent that actually is. Europe showed us their history through maps and architecture; Asia has shown us through traditions and languages. Visiting the outskirts of Chaohu and other cities and villages of Anhui is a bit like stepping back in time. There are farmers whose ancestors have farmed the same land for hundreds of years. Ancient artifacts seem to be dug up every day in this part of China, cooking vessels and jewelry from thousands of years ago. In history classes I was never really good at linking what was happening in ancient Rome with the rest of the world, but after traveling and seeing some of the history for myself, it has gotten much easier, as has the ability to connect what has happened in the past with what is happening in the present.

56770469_10219219416624536_1852154197714141184_n — Chaohu

Chengdu, Sichuan

Siguniangshan, Sichuan

50502210_10218615842735566_3802084494152826880_n — Chongqing

Chongqing

Zhuhai, Guangdong

Macau

Lantau Island, HK

The Philippines (Cebu & Manila) – where we learned about INEQUALITY

Traveling truly brings to light things I never would have given a second thought to in other situations. Throughout our travels, we’ve met many people in many different circumstances. And sadly, we’ve seen that people are almost never treated equally. We, in the US, tend to think of race, gender, and sexual orientation, but there are also issues of class, religion, ethnic background, age, and countless others. Inequality seems to be a shared human trait, but it’s also something we’re all growing increasingly aware of. Sometimes seeing it manifest in a different way, as it often does in different contexts, helps show how ridiculously common, yet unnecessary it really is. Tucker and I were in the Philippines earlier this year, where we saw first hand some of the inequalities experienced by the people who live there versus the people who vacation there. It’s something that allows us to think about the impact we have when we unintentionally aid inequality, not only when traveling but in all aspects of our lives.

51221293_10218735999499410_6899317769305587712_n — The Philippines

Singapore

Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

54514796_10219110537662630_6888171968395214848_n — Jiufen

Taiwan (Taipei, Jiufen, & Tamsui)

Anqing, Anhui

Jiuhuashan & Chizhou, Anhui

Xining, Qinghai – where we learned about KINDNESS

Finally, I think the biggest lesson of all has been experiencing the kindness that strangers are capable of showing to each other, which we found empathically on display on our recent trip to Qinghai. It has been a common thread throughout every place we’ve traveled; the help we’ve received from people we had never met before continues to inspire us. Whether it is someone giving directions in multiple languages or simply sharing information about their culture so that we can leave with a more complete understanding, we’ve made friends with people around the world. This is what allows me to not get bogged down in politics or negative stories that are passed around because I have experienced the kindness of humans in every country I’ve been to. I’ve seen our similarities, and they far outweigh any differences. Mark Twain wrote “travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness”, and I believe our ability to travel more freely now than ever before has played a big part in the acceptance and compassion people are showing each other around the globe. I want to continue to spread the kindness I’ve received, and I hope that we all continue to do that whether we’re traveling or not.

DongGuan Mosque

Chaka Salt Lake

Huangzhong

Chaka & Erlangjian, Qinghai

Japan (upcoming!)

There you have it: 10 different countries, 20ish provinces/regions of China, over 60 cities, and an immeasurable amount of knowledge, experiences, and memories. It’s fun to keep track and even more fun to share, but don’t just take it from me. As the Asian proverb goes, “better to see something once than to hear about it a thousand times.” Hope to see you on our next trip!

Map

New Skills Brought to Us by Life in China

On April 24, 2019April 24, 2019 By Dani Francuz Rose2 Comments

Last month I wrote about the things we’ll be leaving behind when we say goodbye to China, but this month I want to focus on the things we’ll be taking with us when we go: the skills and perspectives we have been developing over the past 20 months.

The first two skills that we have undoubtedly been cultivating during our China time are our flexibility and patience. Any time you’re in an unfamiliar place or situation these two traits are brought to attention, but China has a unique talent for testing just how flexible and patient a person can be (red tape anyone?). In order to cope with some of the more annoying aspects of life as an American in China, we’ve picked up the phrase “cha bu duo” – it’s a Chinese phrase that has become our hakuna matata, but rather than “no worries” it means “alright” or “close enough”. We use it when plans fall through, when new arrangements pop up over night, or when something that should have taken a few hours ends up taking a few days. It’s all cha bu duo, and it’ll all work out in the end. We’ve definitely become pretty zen in China.

Another trait we’ve been honing is our adaptability. China is certainly full of surprises, and keeping up is all any of us can hope for. In fact, early on in our move here we visited Wuhan, a large city in central China, and learned that they have a slogan: “Wuhan: Different Every Day”. However, we’ve long suspected that this particular saying really applies to the country as a whole. I can’t count the number of times we’ve been bewildered by something we’ve seen or heard, but I can say that now it doesn’t really phase us. We’ve learned to take it all in and roll with the punches better than we’ve ever be able to before. From unexplained detours and missing reservations to chicken feet pasta and drinking hot water on 90 degree days, whatever comes, we’ll keep calm, cool, and ready for anything.

Accepting ambiguity is definitely another newly acquired skill. Living abroad always comes with a lot of ambiguity because we’re never quite sure what’s going on (even after asking our thousandth question of the day). However, with China, the ambiguity is off the charts! Partially because the writing system is more like code than language and partially because things have been done in a certain way here for thousands of years – even the locals aren’t always sure why! Luckily rather than frustration, we’ve found peace in not always knowing everything, and more than that, we’ve found that trusting others can really help ease the uncertainty and fear that often accompany ambiguity.

Perhaps a surprising virtue to have further developed in China is our positivity. Before coming to China most of what we heard was negative, in fact, even while living here, we hear a lot of negative things about the people and culture we’re surrounded in (and other cultures and people as well), but rather than bring us down, it has actually increased our positivity and positive associations. We’ve asked a lot of hard questions, and we’ve be given a lot of really great answers. We’ve met so many friends, colleagues, and students that are extremely positive and excited about both the present and the future of their lives, their country, and the world that it has began to rub off on us. The smallest things now seem to bring us joy, and a positive attitude is our norm. We all really are more alike than different, and it’s easy to stay positive when faced with that reality every day.

Accepting Compliments — Works for accepting gifts too!

While I’m actually still working on this one, I think we have developed a bit of a knack for taking compliments. It is very common here to give compliments to your friends, and at first it made me super uncomfortable. I’ve had compliments about my “jade arms”, my “3D face”, and my “beautiful nail shape”, which all left me completely embarrassed and occasionally speechless. With time, however, I’ve learned to take my well-practiced American/European self-deprecation and turn it into a humble reply followed by a reciprocating compliment. A very useful skill!

Another really useful skill we’ve definitely sharpened over these two years is our ability to focus. Noise essentially means nothing to us now. The daily (very early) singing street sweeper, the constant construction clatter, the whirring of air filters, all sorts of clamoring people and blaring traffic are so easily blocked out now. Living in close quarters with 8 million other people has allowed us to focus our attention as never before, which is something we’ll forever appreciate as we intend to continue city living for the foreseeable future.

In the process of all this development, another set of skills has subsequently been brought to our attention in China: communication methods. It’s clear to me now that words are not truly needed for communication. Gestures, facial expressions, pictures, and so many other visual cues end up being more than sufficient. I’ve actually really enjoyed exploring work-arounds for complex topics such as how to get the grocery store people to understand the fundamentals of American life (ie we need deodorant, garlic powder, and tortillas to sustain life!). We’ve also refined our questioning techniques because in English, questions can be complicated and often ambiguous – another skill I had no idea I needed. And if all else fails, we’ve learned to embrace the complex language of emojis and stickers (although my students say my particular style is old-school…and not in the cool way).

There are also a handful of cultural skills we’ve been able to adopt such as the precise methods of selecting, brewing, and sipping some of the finest teas in the world. With that, has also come the ability to drink and occasionally be splashed by scalding hot water. We’ve also perfected our chopsticks skills. I actually now prefer them to a knife and fork, which Tucker finds a little strange, but hey, I’m adaptable. ;) And finally, one more modern skill we’ve picked up: the art of online shopping. I was never really into Cyber Monday and often failed at buying products online in the US only to end up giving them away rather than attempting a return and redo. But here in China, we’ve become experts at scanning reviews, looking for the tiniest details in photos, measuring twice and buying once. Taobao has been our teacher, and I can’t wait to test out my new found talent on Amazon when we next visit the US.

So many useful skills and so many new perspectives and changes to our collective mindset. I have to thank China and my Chinese culture guides for so effortlessly guiding us through 20 months of one of the most demanding self-development courses I’ve ever been a part of. Just like when we left Poland, I was sure there were changes we’d undergone that would forever be a part of us, and so it is with China as well. Living in a new place changes you, and for that I’m thankful.

Fitting in — Here’s hoping we’ll “fit in” wherever we go next! ;)

Our Packing Process

On October 17, 2018October 17, 2018 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

37500336_10217149019145893_5591727216695181312_n You might have noticed that Tucker and I like to go on trips. A lot of trips. :) And since we typically try to travel as cheaply as possible, we usually end up with long bus/train rides, fairly small accommodations (usually hostels), and ultimately a lot of walking. All of these factors (in addition to my scrawny arms and general aversion towards planning) have turned me into somewhat of an expert packer. For anything from 4 days to 40 days, I pack everything Tucker and I need in 2 regular-sized backpacks and 1 duffle bag, and it usually takes me about 20 minutes. I have whittled down my packing process and have come close to perfecting it (at least for our needs), and I’m happy to share what I’ve learned with other trip-takers!

About Bags: I prefer to use regular backpacks, not backpacking backpacks, for several reasons. First, those huge ones that make you look like you’re about to hike the Himalayas are super expensive. I’m also a bit rough on my luggage (not to mention how the airlines treat them), so I just go with cheap back-to-school type bags. I like ones with only two pockets (one large and one small), and Tucker likes ALL THE POCKETS! Regular backpacks afford us a lot of variety, and they don’t break the bank when we need to replace them. In addition to cost is the versatility of a smaller bag. Often when we’re traveling we like to take day trips. It’s nice to have a smaller bag available for day-use as well. However, I will say that on occasion we have packed both backpacks a little too full and had to empty a bag onto the hotel bed before taking one of said day trips! You live and learn, I guess.

We also always bring a duffle bag as opposed to a rolling bag. The nice thing about a duffle is that it allows us to keep our hands free. One of us will sling it over our shoulder and happily traverse any sort of terrain (hundreds of stairs, cobble stones, dirt paths, etc.) all while holding a map, a phone, a water bottle, or anything else we might need. It’s also much easier to travel on a bus/train with a duffle than it is with a rolling bag. Our bag can be thrown in the overhead compartments, squashed under our feet, or stacked with other luggage in a separate area. We’ve also had zero issues with a duffle bag breaking (knock on wood!), and even if we did, they’re fairly easy to fix or replace. We have, however, broken wheels off of rolling bags, and that was not easily fixed. Instead it was dragged along behind us…rather loudly.

Toiletries: For our toiletries I typically pack two small pouches. I pretty much always have them prepped and ready to go with things like travel shampoo, body wash, q-tips, etc. Sometimes I separate our items into a sort of his-and-her situation, especially if we aren’t sharing a bathroom. Sometimes I’ll have them separated by stuff used in the shower/bathroom and other, non-wet things (like medicine, tissues, etc.). I also like to use Ziploc bags to keep things separate and leak-free. When you’re flying, you generally need them anyway, but even with ground travel, the Ziplocs have been lifesavers! We usually use them until they’re falling apart, so hopefully the environment will forgive me this use of plastic.

Hers

His

Clothes: This is probably where Tucker and I differ from most packers. We are rewear-ers. I’ll rewear most pants and shirts at least twice on a trip, which allows me to really cut down on the weight and bulk of our bags. For longer trips, we also rely on laundry facilities. We’ve done laundry in countless hotels/hostels, local laundromats, and yes, even in the sink (à la Rick Steves). The only thing we don’t skimp on is underwear and socks. There is nothing as bad as running out of clean underwear or socks! Another essential packing item for us is a trash bag. We use a trash bag to differentiate between the clothes we can still wear and the ones that must be washed before they touch our bodies again. This is really helpful because when rewearing clothes (especially in tropical locations) they can get a little ripe after awhile. Using a trash bag keeps that dirty laundry smell to a minimum.

InkedIMG_0671_LI

Other: Other things we pack include our collection of electronics: cellphone chargers, laptop, laptop charger, power bank, and adapters. I wish I had a nice tip for packing these things, but honestly we just shove them into an outer pocket. I will say that when traveling internationally, the smaller your adapter is, the better. We have some that fall out of the outlets because the adapter plus the weight of the plug/cord is just too much for the outlet to handle. We also always make sure to pack what we call “bag food”. It’s our supply of emergency snacks like granola bars, nuts, etc. Sometimes our transportation takes place in the wee hours, and as Tucker will attest, I can get pretty hangry. We try not to dip into the bag food too often, I mean, part of the reason we travel is to try all the local foods, but I will say that we have been extremely thankful for that Belvita on more than one occasion.

Souvenirs: Finally I’ve heard several people mention that they have had to buy additional suitcases for the souvenirs they bought while traveling (this may or may not have happened to us on occasion as well!). Typically I try to focus on collecting photos (and the occasional, functional item) for myself, but we often want to bring back souvenirs for friends and family as well. When looking for things to bring back, we typically aim for flat, sturdy items (wall art, bookmarks, games, etc.). They pack the best, whether for short or long-term storage/travel. I also really like to send postcards in lieu of gifts. If you travel a lot or live abroad giving gifts becomes expensive and exceedingly difficult to do in a timely manner, so instead I like to show I’m thinking of someone by sending a postcard from wherever I happen to be. I absolutely love getting mail, and I think most people would agree!

So that’s how we do it! It’s nothing special or groundbreaking; just taking the experiences/lessons as they come and adjusting as we go. There’s really no wrong way to pack though, and as we always remind ourselves when we’re walking out the door: all you really need is your ID, a form of payment, and a sense of adventure! :)

39083523_10217335769214528_1663143334241107968_n — Totally worth any packing hassle or mishap!

Re-learning the American Way

On August 30, 2018August 30, 2018 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

36988170_10217066567324649_7586625756298477568_n — Western culture = beer on the porch

Tucker and I eased our way back into Western culture this summer by spending three weeks in Australia followed by almost a month back in the States, and while we happily gorged ourselves on some of our favorite food and drinks, we also noticed some distinct changes in our behavior and perspectives this time around. This phenomenon is typically called reverse culture shock (when you return to your home culture after getting used to a new one), and although we had actually experienced this a bit in the past, this time I was determined to not only experience it but also take note of what things stuck out to us as clear effects of living immersed in a different way of life. As usual, in my head I’ve grouped these things in some arbitrary way in order to more clearly share them, and the three main areas of change I’ve come up with regarded: our eating habits, our annoyance at inefficiencies, and a shift in our manners.

39685751_10217402285877403_1454424897366261760_n — Those tacos tho…

Eating Habits: One large area of difference between American and Chinese culture lies in the food and eating. Upon our return to the US we realized there are a few things that we found it hard to get used to again when it comes to food and drink. Ice in water, for example, is way too cold, and it feels like you get less water (ugh, waiting for the ice to melt – who has time for that?). Another thing we immediately missed upon ordering in an American restaurant was that we didn’t order and eat together. It’s sort of an every person for themselves situation, which now feels a little lonely and much more complicated when the bill comes. Tucker also realized he had picked up some Chinese habits when we were out to eat in Australia one night. In the middle of dinner, he started putting his discarded food items on the table rather than in a napkin or on the edge of his plate. I laughed, knowing his reasoning was because that’s what we do in China, but I’m sure the Aussie waitress was thinking, “what is wrong with that guy!”

38894753_10217321756104209_9202510306956279808_n — Why no WeChat Pay?

Annoying Inefficiencies: Another somewhat general category I identified had to do with the speed/way some things are done in the US. Maybe we wouldn’t have ever noticed if we didn’t spend a year in China, but there were some really obvious points of frustration for us upon our return. First, having to pay with a credit card felt as bad as standing there and writing a check. It’s so much slower than the simple scan of a QR code! We were also surprised at how inconvenient it was to have to drive everywhere. Traffic became much more irritating, someone had to shoulder the responsibility of driving, and without practice, we found that we even forget to monitor the gas situation! The third inefficiency that really grated on our nerves almost as soon as we got back was the ineptitude and inefficiency of lines. Say what you will about the crowds in China, but this place knows how to move people! We waited in much shorter lines in the US for much more time than it would have taken in China. At one point, I was also reminded that Americans are not quite as independent as I had previously thought because the airport staff in multiple US cities chose to herd every single individual into the designated waiting areas (slowly and somewhat apathetically) rather than just letting the masses fill in the available spaces naturally.

37320588_10217124132123733_2240172199048642560_n — Even more difficult when on the wrong side of the road!

39119355_10217335759134276_152621027208200192_n — Definitely an American…

Forgetting Our Manners: The last bit of reverse culture shock we noticed revolved around our manners. There were several instances where we completely missed our public duty of saying “bless you” because in China (like many other cultures) it’s a bit rude to comment on bodily functions. I was also caught a few times using language in public that perhaps I wouldn’t have used in the same situation a year ago…it’s amazing how being surrounded by people who don’t understand you can desensitize you to that sort of thing! (To the lady I startled in Target with my English swear words, I’m so sorry! And to the people I perhaps gave too much information to on the flight home – sorry again!) Finally, the last difference that completely took me by surprise was the choice of small talk topics. In China we pretty much stay on subjects like family, hometowns, vacations, etc., but immediately when surrounded by those heading back to the US, it was back to politics, the news, and lots of really direct questions that after a year of light, indirect conversation felt super personal and sometimes rude.

40304778_10217464633316050_3074249608071741440_n — Here’s to more Chinese adventures!

Of course, now that we’re back in China I suppose we’re undergoing reverse, reverse culture shock (like forgetting to carry toilet paper with me everywhere I go and ignoring the slight hand cramp I have after using chopsticks for the first time in months), but overall the more we go back and forth, the more I notice about all the cultures with which I’m familiar. It’s a huge part of why I prefer living abroad to traveling abroad – there’s so much deeper we can go when learning about ourselves and all the amazing customs in the world, and lucky me, I get to do it all again with another year immersed in the Far East!

Laughs and Lessons

On July 1, 2018July 1, 2018 By Dani Francuz Rose1 Comment

So, we’re getting close to finishing up our first year in China, and I think it’s about time to share some of our funny little mishaps and the lessons we’ve learned from them because if I’m taking anything home with me from China, it’s definitely the stories! Enjoy:

31388265_10216512482112865_1127331764793550846_n — *At least we had already finished our dinner!*

Lessons in Flexibility: Ambiguity and flexibility are a way of life when living abroad. There are so many things that happen around us that we can’t explain, and without command of the local language, what can we do but accept them and move on? Usually it’s just something small that completely confuses us, but also makes us laugh in our ignorance. One such example of this happened when my parents were visiting. We were on a train from Huangshan to Hefei, minding our own business, snacking and playing cards when one of the train attendants stood beside our row and asked us to get out of our seats. Tucker and I have been on a lot of trains in China and had never experienced anything like this before, so we were slightly confused…but we did what they asked. We got up, grabbed all of our belongings, stood in the aisle and watched them switch the seats around, so that they were facing the opposite direction. We sat back down and watched them go row by row, asking everyone to do the same. We thought it was very odd to displace everyone for a little reorganizing; however, we soon realized that at the next station the train would be changing tracks and directions. They wanted everyone to be facing forward for the next leg of the trip, perhaps to ward against any bouts of motion sickness. For us, it was just another go-with-the-flow moment that had us all super confused at the time!

31326800_10216493946569488_3644003403696398266_n — *Teriyaki chicken floss pizza topped with dried seaweed – I just can’t!*

Food is another area where I have had to become pretty flexible. Picky eaters don’t really exist in China, so I’ve been working on my acceptance of various foods (but also on my language skills because there are some things that I just can’t bring myself to try!) However, sometimes the flexibility stems not from the food itself but from my ability (or inability) to successfully da bao. Da bao is essentially “take out” and is very useful on my way home from work, but sometimes I run into issues. One evening on my way home, I stopped at one of the campus canteens to pick up dinner for Tucker and myself. I ordered two noodle dishes for us, but when I was asked about the sides, I mistakenly ordered one bowl of rice instead of two. No big deal, they just put both meals into one container and on top of it, the one bowl of rice. I was a little annoyed with myself for the language mistake, so as I started to bike home with the to-go bag hanging from my handlebars, my mind was elsewhere. Unfortunately, my inattention and a plastic bag that wasn’t quite as strong as I thought led to a slight mishap. I hit a somewhat large bump in the road, and the food hit the ground. The one bowl of rice I had been worried about became one pile of rice, and we ended up having leftovers for dinner instead. Oops. The good news is a couple of students got ringside seats to my little comedy sketch as they sat on the curb right in front of the scene!

Lessons in Safety: Safety in China is a bit different than in the US. There isn’t a litigation mindset here, so it’s pretty much fend for yourself, and if you’re dumb enough to try it, then you deserve any accidents that come your way. For the most part, I have no issue with the safety standards because I typically walk a pretty safe line, no dangling from balconies or standing on ottomans on chairs on tables for me – events we have, indeed, witnessed from our apartment. However, the driving here does scare me a bit. One time on a bus from Hefei to Sanhe (about an hours’ drive) we got a bit of an arm workout and a fun story from this difference in driving habits. The bus driver was clearly a wannabe race car driver, weaving when he could, driving on the wrong side of the road to pass traffic, and subsequently needing to slam on the breaks often. Unfortunately this was a rather full bus, so Tucker and I were dangling from the overhead hand grips, wildly swinging around every time the bus moved. At one point, Tucker was looking at his phone with his free hand when the bus stopped abruptly, sending everyone flying forward so hard that Tucker practically threw his phone. Luckily, it landed in the seat of an older man, who upon sitting back down, felt something a little different, and retrieved the phone for us. We all had a good chuckle, pointed at the crazy driver, and left as new friends.

36353389_10216962267837227_1574157281224818688_n — *Beautiful frosting flowers…with Styrofoam supports in some of them…Can you say “choking hazard”?*

There’s also a stereotype that things made in China are cheap and possibly unsafe because of the quality. We haven’t found that to be true with most things, but we do live in a converted dorm suite, where the furniture we were provided is possibly a bit on the cheap side and is definitely pre-owned (and owned and owned and owned). Some pieces are clearly showing signs of wear and tear (significant signs that often have me wondering what these students did that was so hard on the furniture!), but generally it all feels pretty sturdy. Or so we thought upon moving in. Flash forward a few months, we’re sitting on the bed voice-calling Tucker’s mom, and we hear some creaking and cracking. The bed slowly starts sinking beneath us until there’s a loud CRACK, and the mattress falls to the floor. Uh oh. Apparently the frame was missing a few screws…good thing we bought a small tool box the week before.

Lessons in Using a Second Language: Eventually I will need to write a post entirely about the language difficulties (and occasional successes) we experience pretty much every day, but for now I’ll limit myself to two incidents that had us laughing for days. The first happened when we were ordering a meal. It’s an incredible challenge to order food here because while we may know the words for a lot of what we like to order and eat, we don’t always know the characters. On this particular day, I wanted something cold, so I asked for cold vegetables. The server pointed to a small section on the menu, and Tucker picked an item at random. No problem, we do this all the time; it’s usually variations of the same dish but prepared with different vegetables. A few minutes later the server comes back not with cold vegetables, but with a cold, fully intact carcass of a small bird. Umm, what?! I’m not a very adventurous eater, so this was a big nope from me. It seems we were randomly choosing from the list of liang cai (cold dishes) instead of liang shucai (cold vegetables). We won’t make that mistake again!

35380199_10216864781880139_734120806941982720_n — *Great English, bad timing; this photo was taken in June.*

Luckily the language errors (and lessons) are not just on our side. Sometimes it’s our Chinese friends that have us laughing with their choice of words/phrases and their occasional mistakes. One of our best friends in China has beautiful English, but as any great language learner, she is always trying to add new vocabulary and expressions to her repertoire. One time as we were riding downtown on a public bus, we asked her how much further until we needed to get off. She looked ahead and reported that the stop we need is just after we “take a left at the intercourse”. Tucker and I couldn’t keep straight faces. She asked us what was so weird about that – “inter” meaning between and “course” meaning path. It totally makes sense! But nope, intersection, “intersection” was the word she wanted.

26805404_10215603760875402_5931051294956311693_n — *Russian treats! Not pictured: the clattering sounds of the silverware.*

Lessons in Noticing the Small Things: Living abroad brings out the weirdest forms of nostalgia. I’m always up for a good dose of anything 90s related, but now we’re sometimes thrown into reminiscing about the strangest things. While we were visiting Harbin, a city near the Russian boarder, we went to a traditional Russian restaurant. We were so excited to have some of their delicious homemade bread and butter, some potatoes and meat in a thick sauce: the Eastern European specialties that we’ve been missing from Poland. What we did not expect was that the thing that brought on the most nostalgia was being in a restaurant where you could hear the clatter of everyone’s silverware! Eating with chopsticks for the previous six months had deprived us of that particular sound, which surprisingly, was very obvious after its sudden resurgence. I never realized how loud knives and forks can be or how much they remind me of home!

We can buy almost anything in China. I mean this is the land where most of our purchases in the US hail from, so it makes sense that anything and everything we want is available and can be delivered within a day or two here. However, for some reason, China hasn’t warmed up to the use of solid deodorant sticks. We have sprays and roll-ons, but not what I consider to be the “classic” deodorant, the white solid type. After a few months in China, we ran out of the deodorant we brought with us and started using the other types, but for me, it just wasn’t the same! Cue our trip to SE Asia. Thailand, Cambodia, and even Hong Kong had all the solid sticks we could possibly want! So we went a little crazy. We literally bought bagfuls and smuggled (okay, more like lugged) them from country to country until we safely stored them in our now deodorant-full apartment. It’s so interesting which items we’ve found ourselves clinging to! Some of the smallest things can make a huge difference and some of the larger ones we’ve never even noticed!

30226257_10216349014346273_8849697787682590538_n — *You can really find anything in China!*

Lessons in Friendliness: The last couple of stories revolve around the friendliness of Chinese people. Perhaps coming from a particularly turbulent time in the US, after spending a year in famously aloof Europe, China has seemed very different when it comes to strangers and how/when they speak to each other, especially when one of the strangers is a waiguoren (foreigner). During one of the first few weeks of class, I was walking home when I saw a very large group of kids obviously on some type of field trip to the university. There must have been over 150 elementary school children, all in their little orange vests walking towards me in a rough line formation. As soon as one of them saw me, I promptly got approximately 150 different greetings: high fives or waves accompanied by “hello”, “hi”, and even a stunned “waiguoren” or two. It was adorable! After this and other similar experiences, I’ve realized that people here are usually really excited to see and interact with foreigners – they like that more people are choosing to visit or live in China. It’s the ultimate hosting gig for a country that places a lot of value in hospitality, and honestly, since moving here, I’ve found that I’ve also picked up some of these friendly and hospitable traits!

34321076_10216784145504280_3711000216468455424_n — *They’re so friendly and curious!*

Another incredibly small moment of friendliness that completely caught Tucker and I by surprise happened in a mall elevator of all places. Typically people smile at us or kids will say “hello”, but for adults it’s a lot of pressure to try and speak English. Imagine trying to use your high school Spanish after so many years out of school. Embarrassing to say the least! However, every now and then we are surprised and excited when someone very kindly uses English just to further connect with us or help us out if/when they see us struggling with the extremely difficult Zhongwen (Chinese language). On one of our many mall elevator rides, I (as I happened to be near the front) held the doors open for a man who was at the back of the elevator as he made his way through the crowd. When he stepped out of the elevator, he casually turned back, said “thank you” in perfect standard English, and tipped his hat to us as the doors closed. For a moment I totally forgot where I was! To understand and to be understood is a truly powerful thing – something we take for granted when surrounded by others who speak the same language as we do. However, in this moment I was reminded of all the positive effects using someone’s first language can have on them, even if it’s something simple like “thank you”.

35547735_10216887152559392_4755177783410294784_n — *We’re always ready for more laughs and lessons! :)*

I have about a million more of these anecdotes and their subsequent lessons swirling around in my head. It truly seems like something has us bursting out in laughter just about every day in China. In fact, I think the ultimate lesson I’ve learned from my year living here is that there is no reason to fear the unknown – it’s really much more fun to just go with it and laugh along the way!

Our Travels (from 2015-2016)

On October 17, 2016December 12, 2023 By Dani Francuz RoseLeave a comment

There is no question that Tucker and I have been extremely fortunate this year. It honestly feels like a dream. I’ve talked a lot about Fulbright, the University of Łódź, and all the amazing experiences I’ve had with such wonderful people and organizations supporting me, but I’ve not really discussed the places we’ve been able to go. I have always loved exploring new places, comparing them to what I’ve read or heard from others, and my time in Europe has allowed me to do that and then some. Traveling is an incredible luxury, and unfortunately, it’s not something everyone can do. I hope in the future international travel becomes more accessible because I have learned and developed a great deal through it and want more people to be able to do the same (if they want to). Anyway, since several friends and family members have expressed interest in our travels, I’ve decided to share some of our experiences this past year: the destinations, of course, but also some lessons and laughs we had along the way.

Łódź, Poland:

One of our first mishaps in Poland (of which there have been many) occurred on our second day in Łódź. We were on our way to meet my supervisor at the university for the first time, but had a slight issue on one of the trams. We really thought we were ready, armed with złoty (the Polish currency) and a brand new chip card; however, Poland is both too outdated and too modern for either of those means of payment! On the tram we could only use coins or a tap-and-pay card to buy tickets, neither of which we had. Oops! Normally this wouldn’t be a much of a problem. We would just get off, buy some tickets at a kiosk, and get back on, but, of course with our luck, the secret transportation police (who seem to follow me) were on the tram watching us as we failed. Once they were sure we had run out of ideas, they yanked us off and gave us a 140 złoty fine ($35). Needless to say, we were late to the meeting…

Warszawa, Poland

Łęczyca, Poland

Kraków, Poland

Gdańsk and Sopot, Poland

Poznań, Poland:

In December, we had some time off thanks to the holidays, so one weekend, we impulsively decided to visit Poznań, a city about 3 hours from Łódź. We didn’t know much about Poznań, so on the way there we googled the main attractions and read several suggestions to see the goats. Waking up the next morning in Poznań, it was snowing (yay!), but I was sick (boo!). Runny nose, streaming eyes, chills – it was awful, but I was not going to let that stop me. We bundled up, braved the cold, and walked and ate our way around Poznań. Eventually, it was time to see the goats. We were super excited as we crowded around the Town Hall in the main square with about 50 other goat-seekers. As the clock struck noon, the tiny, mechanical goats slowly came out of their little doors at the top of the tower. They turned towards each other, butted heads a few times (among oohs and ahhs, of course), and then retreated to their home. What did we just witness? Why goats? Is that all they do? So many questions left unanswered.

Łask, Poland

Bergen, Voss, Gudvangen, Flåm, and Myrdal, Norway

Wrocław, Poland

Lisbon and Porto, Portugal – Madrid, Spain – Rome, Italy – Vatican City:

Traveling to new countries can be a tad confusing at times. There can be different ways of doing things or different laws that must be upheld – many of which are unknown to tourists. We experienced a bit of this when we got to Rome. We arrived fairly late, so there was no one to let us into our room. Luckily they left a post-it note on the door with a number to call (odd). We called, and eventually a guy showed up and took us down the street to a different apartment building (also odd). He showed us the room, gave us the key, and then asked for money because Italy imposes a “special tax” on renting rooms. What?! We had already paid for the room, and I wasn’t even sure we were in the right place with the right person anymore – should we really be giving him more money? Well, we did (with no receipt or proof of any kind). But luckily he wasn’t a scammer; Italy really does impose a tourist tax for each night you stay in the country, and it’s generally paid after you arrive. Weird.

Szczecin, Gryfino, Płoty, and Resko, Poland

Wieliczka and Zakopane, Poland:

You know what Atlanta doesn’t have much of? Snow. Obviously, Tucker and I had a few things to learn about Polish winters, but on our trip to Zakopane, a mountain town in the Polish Tatras, we proved to be slow learners. Our goal while in Zakopane was to hike to Lake Morskie Oko. We had a few difficulties getting to the starting point of the hike due to the time of year, and once we were there, I realized I had made a huge mistake. I thought someone had told me it was a two kilometer hike, but it seems they might have said it was a two hour hike. Oops. We also failed to take into account the fact that elevation changes the weather a great deal, so we left to hike 18 kilometers (11 miles) uphill, in the snow…in gym shoes. I’m pretty sure we almost lost toes. After about 20 minutes our shoes were soaked and soon we couldn’t feel our feet at all. That made walking up the steep mountain extremely difficult, not to mention all the slippery snow and ice. But at least now we will forever understand the importance of boots!

Český ráj – (near) Turnov, Czech Republic

Brussels and Ghent, Belgium

Prague and Turnov, Czech Republic

Sieradz and Burzenin, Poland

Kalisz, Poland

Częstochowa, Miedźno, Katowice, and Oświęcim, Poland

Minsk and Mir, Belarus:

One of the coolest experiences we had during our travels was riding an overnight train from Warsaw to Minsk. It was such a great trip for so many reasons, including, but not limited to: our amazing travel companions and the breakfasts we shared, the traditional Belarusian dinner with many, many toasts, and the experience of being lifted into the air as they changed the train wheels at the border. However, by far, my favorite part occurred on the way home. We took another overnight train (this one was a bit older), and upon entering our compartment, it seemed we were missing a bed. We searched around the tiny room looking for the elusive bed until we spotted what looked like a door. Thinking this must be the last fold-out bed, we yanked it open and unexpectedly found ourselves looking at the gentleman in the next compartment, who rather promptly and enthusiastically said “Hello!”. No one could stop laughing!

Prusinowice, Poland

Reykjavik, Selfoss, Hella, and Vik, Iceland – Belfast, Northern Ireland (UK) – Galway, Cork, Blarney, and Dublin, Ireland

Gdynia, Hel, Lębork, Łeba, and Malbork, Poland

Tallin, Estonia – Riga, Latvia – Vilnius, Lithuania:

I like to be early: early for class, early for appointments, early for buses/trains/planes, etc. However, sometimes it’s just not possible. Particularly when you accidentally add an 8-hour “snooze” to your alarm for the morning (why is that even an option?!). Before our trip to the Baltic States, we were graciously invited to an Independence Day party at the US ambassador to Poland’s house. We didn’t get home from the party until fairly late, and had to catch a bus the next morning at 4:50am. Before going to sleep, I responsibly set my alarm to make sure we woke up with enough time to shower, pack our things, and get to the bus station. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. At 4:34am Tucker woke up to get a drink of water, and realized (much more calmly than I would have) that we were late. Beyond late. He woke me up, and we legitimately threw our stuff in our bags and ran out of the hotel and all the way to the station. Only 16 minutes from waking up to the bus pulling away! We were sweaty, unshowered, and shaking (okay that was just me), but somehow we made it. Now we set alarms on both phones.

Stockholm, Sweden – Skopje, Macedonia – Bratislava, Slovakia – Budapest, Hungary – Vienna, Austria

Berlin and Potsdam, Germany

Rzeszów, Poland – Lviv and Kiev, Ukraine

So, this is where we’ve been this year: 21 countries, 66 cities, collecting endless memories!

I have truly tried to take advantage of every opportunity I’ve been given this year, and traveling in and around Poland was a big part of that. Throughout this process, I know my posts and pictures have been endless, but I hope they have never seemed discouraging or boastful. I wanted to document everything we did this year, so one day Tucker and I can look back and remember all the details of these stories and places, which will surely escape us as time passes. The places we’ve been and the people we’ve met during our travels this year have definitely changed how we view the world, and that is exactly why I love to travel. Here’s hoping this is only the beginning! :)

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