Our Homes – Dani Francuz Rose

This week, we celebrated the one-year anniversary of our move to Québec, and surprisingly, some of the most regular questions we still get are about the differences between living in Ontario versus Quebec. Of course, comparisons like these are always hard to make because there are so many factors, but now that we have a little more time under our belts, I think I can share some of the bigger differences, or at least the things that have stuck out the most to two random Americans who happened to spend two years in Ottawa followed by a year in Québec City. Differences like:

Taxes

Can you tell it’s tax season? There’s a reason this is at the top of my list. This is our first year doing taxes in Quebec, and it is bringing about a whole new set of challenges. In Ontario, there’s only a federal tax, but in Quebec there’s federal and provincial. Yay! More formulaires to figure out! In general, taxes (sales tax, income tax, etc.) are a bit higher in Quebec, but as far as we can tell, that seems to even out with the cost of living and services provided. Of course, my favorite part of Quebec’s tax system is that they have a high rate of escalation for income tax – essentially, they tax the rich at a higher percentage, bringing equity into the equation, which is très progressif!

Language

I can’t talk about Ottawa vs Québec without mentioning English and French. Both cites have a large number of bilinguals, but the default languages obviously differ, as does the ease of use and readiness to switch. I didn’t hear very much French in Ottawa, and I feel like walking into a Tims there and asking for un café infusé avec une roussette au miel would have been met with blank stares. However, in Québec, it’s quite common to hear both English and French used daily. This disparity is exactly why Quebec has laws to enforce French as the first language of the province, because if not, English might just take over as it has in many other places around the world. Et c’est précisément pour ça que j’apprends le français.

International Influence

Unsurprisingly, Quebec’s French connection has had a lot of influence on the city. Its historical ties to France have shaped the history, culture, and language here, but even today, there are obvious international influences that differ from the rest of Canada. For example, the largest groups of immigrants into Quebec generally come from other francophone countries, which can be seen very clearly in Québec’s restaurant scene. Ottawa has lots of Chinese, Indian, and Iranian restaurants, not to mention shawarma on just about every other street. On the other hand, in Québec, we have way more French, African, and Caribbean options.

Names

Another difference we’ve noticed has been the names of things. There’s a pharmacy in Ontario called Shoppers, but here it’s Pharmaprix. KFC is PFK; Staples is Bureau en gros; Loblaw’s is Provigo, etc. A combination of language, branding, and company mergers has given us several “hey-I-know-this-place” surprises over the last year. Perhaps even more strangely though, our own names also changed upon moving to Quebec, well, mine did anyway. In Quebec, you don’t take the name of your spouse, so very often for provincial things (like my health card), I’m asked for my nom de naissance or “birth name”, which for me is different than my official/government name. And that’s how I ended up with yet another alias…good luck identity thieves!

Identity

Speaking of identity, we’ve also noticed that Quebecers are not as concerned with the rest of Canada as the rest of Canada is with Quebec. We heard all sorts of things about Quebec and Quebecers prior to living here, and even now when I talk to Canadians in other parts of the country, they have a lot to say about Quebec. On the other hand, I don’t hear Quebecers talk much about the other provinces and territories. I liken it to New Yorkers. Yeah, New Yorkers are technically Americans, but they’re also their own thing, and Quebecers are very similar. They are Québécois first and Canadien second.

Services/Community

Another thing we’ve been able to take advantage of here in Québec is the huge number of amazing services and community building activities, which have all been free (thus the higher taxes). We recently went snowshoeing, attended a lecture about the history of Québec, received materials that helped us apply for all our provincial IDs, etc. There are free French and English classes, meet-up groups, game nights, and so much more that has allowed us to meet so many people who call Québec home, and we’ve only scratched the surface! There is really an incredible amount of free and/or affordable services for all sorts of needs. Another good example is daycare. Here, you can find subsidized daycares for around $10 per day. Can you imagine?

Cost of Living

This is another one that’s hard to nail down exactly because, of course, it ultimately depends on what you choose to spend your money on. There are some things that might be more expensive here and others, less, but the biggest thing for us has been rent. We rented two very similar apartments in Ottawa and Québec. Both were two bedrooms, a few blocks away from downtown, all utilities included. Our apartment in Québec is 40+ years newer and a little bigger, yet it’s more than $500 cheaper per month. That cost differential will absolutely be worth the small increase we’ll see in taxes this year.

Driving

Somehow driving always seems to be a category in my country/city comparisons, and Ottawa vs Québec is no different! We lived in Ottawa for two years and never got a ticket. Not for driving, parking, or anything. In less than six months, we got two speeding tickets in Québec. I say “we”, but I wasn’t driving either time… Anyway, the point is, there are WAY more traffic cameras in Québec, and they absolutely work. Oddly, with that said, I also feel it’s more common here to come across a person making a U-turn in the middle of the road and/or ignoring any lane markers (if they can even be seen), so maybe there’s a good reason for all the cameras. Ottawa seems to follow the rules without being watched, and Québec seems to skirt the rules, until there’s photo evidence, of course.

Winter Prep

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I just can’t get over how different the two cities handle winter. Ottawa LOVES salt. Everything is super well-salted; I couldn’t have slipped on a sidewalk even if I had wanted to, but Québec uses a mixture of gravel and salt, which is probably cheaper and better for our boots and car but definitely means there’s more opportunity for slippage. Case in point: Tucker and I have each fallen two times in our Canadian years, and all of them happened in Quebec. With the gravel and salt mixture also comes a lot of slush, which can get a little messy. Cue the abri tempos! Another feature of Quebec winters is the appearance of tents. Tents everywhere! Temporary garages, doorway covers, walkway covers, etc. For half the year, there are pop-ups all over the place making for another difference that is super noticeable.

Joie de Vivre

And last, but not least is the infamous joie de vivre. Literally translated to “joy of living”, joie de vivre has such a palpable presence in Quebec. Ottawa (and much of the rest of North America) has such a hustle culture that is completely missing from Québec. Here it’s still common to take a bottle of wine and have a picnic in the park on a random weekday. Or to enjoy one of the many weeks-long festivals we have here in every season. It seems time with family and friends will always win out over work, and no one ever seems to be in much of a rush. Of course, the architecture, cuisine, and language all make Quebec feel more like Europe, but I think it’s really the joie de vivre that draws people in. C’est magnifique!

And there you have it! Just a few of the many differences between life in Ottawa, Ontario and Québec, Quebec. Personally, I would be extremely happy to live in either city, and as is always the case, there are pros and cons to both. What else is there to say except vive la différence! ;)

Somehow this month marks ten years since Tucker and I first sold most of our belongings and moved abroad. We really had no idea what we were getting into or how we were going to maintain the kind of life we knew we wanted, and even now, I’m not sure I could tell you how exactly we’ve managed to continue moving abroad again and again. I think it’s mostly been an experiment in just how flexible we can be, which is fitting because that’s one of the first skills you develop when you move abroad!

Over the past ten years, we went from the US to Poland and back to the US (to pay off all our student loans), and then we headed to China for a few years and then back to the US (this time for global lockdown), and then onto Mexico, and now Canada. It’s been a crazy decade to say the least, but the places we’ve lived and the people we’ve met have continued to shape us year after year in innumerable ways. And for this month’s somewhat reflective post, I want to share some of the many ways we’ve changed and grown as a result of our expat ways.

We’ve become flexible to the extreme

As I alluded to earlier, when I think of the many skills we’ve developed as a result of moving abroad, flexibility has to be at the top of the list. Whether it’s little things like using Celsius with some people and Fahrenheit with others or big things like not knowing where we’ll be living next year, we’ve gotten incredibly good at going with the flow. When I look back at my early observations from our first year abroad, it always makes me laugh at how hard it was for me to relinquish control. Now I feel like I struggle when I have too much control! It seems I’ve really grown to love letting the universe decide for me.

We’re totally fine with ambiguity

Another early observation I often made had to do with not always understanding what was going on around me. In unfamiliar places with new languages and customs, the level of ambiguity you experience on a daily basis skyrockets. Are we supposed to do something here? Should we ask about that? What does this mean? Questions like these and general uncertainty used to plague us. Until they didn’t. Until we learned that there’s really no wrong way, only different ways. Eventually, we also learned the difference between being expats as opposed to pioneers. Expats get to rely on the experiences of those who came before them, and we definitely do. But if/when that fails, we’ve also learned to simply accept not knowing.

We’re stoic bureaucracy-handlers

One of the most taxing parts of maintaining legal status as an expat has to be all the paperwork: visas, residencies, IDs, taxes, health cards, driver’s licenses, bank accounts, etc. The list is never-ending. After so many years and so many forms and appointments, I can very confidently say that bureaucracy is messy and incredibly frustrating everywhere. We now just assume every process will take a few attempts and several months (if not years) of our lives, which has really helped set expectations and allowed us to remain stoic and unfeeling while jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop. Government office waiting rooms are great places for mindful meditation, you know.

We’re accidental minimalists

In addition to becoming masters at handling immigration processes, we’ve also become expert movers. We know exactly what we need and want in our homes, and over the years, we’ve shed all the fluff. And whenever we happen to collect additional fluff, we’re systematic and unsentimental in removing it before the next move. People are often surprised that we’ve moved countries so many times with nothing but suitcases. Quite a few suitcases, but still. It’s actually pretty easy to do when I remember all the things we took on our first move that we never used. Or when I remember all the things we’ve used in a particular place that wouldn’t make sense anywhere else. These days we tend to take a lot more art with us and a lot fewer dead appliances.

We’re expert home-makers

Speaking of homes though, we’ve had a lot of them over the years. From country to country or even apartment to apartment, every place we’ve lived has always felt like home. Early on in our expat experience, someone advised me to prioritize setting up our home because we’d be surprised at how quickly “later” becomes “never”. Well, we took that to heart and always make sure our apartment is set up before tackling other tasks. We also work really hard to make sure we feel at home in the community as well, which means joining groups, meeting neighbors, learning names and faces. It can be difficult being the new people in town, but we’ve found the quicker we reach out, the quicker we feel at home.

We’re nothing if not adaptable

Another skill that makes itself known every time someone visits one of our far-flung homes is our adaptability. No dishwasher? No problem. Drinking hot water in summer? Sure, why not? Have to do everything over the phone? Got it. Everywhere we’ve called home has changed us in so many ways. Sometimes we forget what was normal for us before moving abroad because we’ve so strongly adapted to several different lifestyles now. This is how I know it doesn’t really matter where we live or what we do because the skill of adaptability is such a broad and encompassing one, that I know we’ll be just fine anywhere.

We’re always adopting new habits

Likely due to all the adapting we’ve had to do over the years, we’ve also gained quite an assortment of international habits. For example, at some point, we became a strict no-shoes-inside household, and when I think back to all the shoes that walked across our carpeted US apartment floors, I shudder. I also can’t believe we lived 25 years without an electric kettle! You’ll have to pry that out of our cold, dead hands now. Similarly, after living in both tea and coffee cultures, we now find ourselves enjoying both regularly. We also find ourselves checking sunset/sunrise times, the weather, and the air quality index more than most, which are all habits we picked up in different places at different times. It’s interesting to note which things stay behind in the places we leave versus which ones we take with us as the ghosts of homes’ past.

We’re an interesting mix of cultures to say the least

Similar to our eclectic mix of habits picked up from around the world, I would say that we ourselves have ended up a strange mix of all our homes. It’s rare that someone immediately places us as American. Even when hearing us speak, our accents don’t give much away, especially when speaking something other than English (you’re likely to hear a very strange combination of linguistic features depending on the day). We also have very strong inclinations toward European showerheads, the use of chopsticks, and what should and should not go on a taco. We self-identify as Polish-American-Canadian-Tapatío laowais, and we’ll happily talk your ear off about life in Poland, the US, Canada, Mexico, and/or China because each of those places is a part of us and always will be.

We’re excited to make every day an adventure

All these fun little quirks keep us tied to the places we used to call home, but one of the best parts of being a perpetual expat (no matter where we are) is the fact that every day becomes an adventure. The smallest tasks are new and exciting, and we never know what we’re going to learn. This is really why we keep doing it; why we haven’t “settled down” yet. We’ve learned to love the daily micro-adventures and mini-challenges that keep us on our toes and forever entertained. Every time we start over in a new place, we get to experience so many firsts again. We get to find a new set of favorites and develop new habits that only enhance our lives. An adventure a day certainly keeps the boredom away!

We’re constantly learning and reflecting

And last, but not least, all this moving and growing and changing allows us to continually learn and reflect. Before each move, we get to look back at our time in a given place and reflect on everything we did, all the changes we experienced, and what we could or should have done differently if given the chance. And then…we get another chance! I sometimes refer to Poland as our “first pancake” because with hindsight, it’s easy to see how we’ve continually gotten better at being expats. All these skills (and more) have been honed over the years, and we’ve learned how to make the most of our time in the places we call home. Of course, we also realize just how lucky we are, so to all our homes: thank you, dziękuję, xièxie, gracias, and merci for the best decade of our lives!

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