Things We’ll Miss Most About China

I keep furtively glancing at my calendar, realizing that we’re leaving China in a mere 90 days, and I can’t help but feel a little sad. Just like our last few months in Poland, I keep finding myself saying things like “I wonder if this is the last time we’ll eat here” or “this will probably be our last Taobao order”, etc. It’s always hard to say goodbye, but to help make sure I never forget the details of living in China, I created this handy list of things we’ll miss most (one for each letter of the alphabet, of course):

a
Anda

Anda: Anda is the nickname of Anhui University. It’s probably the first Chinese word I learned to say correctly (tones and all) because if not, we’d have ended up in a taxi to who-knows-where rather than on our way home. But much more than the word itself, I will miss what it represents: the students and teachers I’ve gotten to know over the last year and a half. My time in China would have been entirely different without their continued encouragement, support, and friendship, and I’m so thankful for the memories we’ve shared.

Bubble Tea: Although I’m not a bubble tea fanatic (like some people I know), I will definitely still miss this sweet concoction. Tea with milk, sugar, and tapioca pearls; served piping hot in winter or with a mound of ice in summer, what’s not to love?

c
Cha

Cha: I never really considered myself a tea (“cha”) snob, but after having some of the best teas in the world readily available and often free at every restaurant and hotel, I might have to accept that moniker in the future. The variety and quality of tea in China really is above the rest, and it’s something I most certainly will miss!

Darunfa: Darunfa is our grocery store of choice, and although it stresses me out at times (especially on the weekends), there are so many things I’ll miss about it. The people keenly observing what Tucker and I are buying, the over-the-top decorations and displays, and especially the freshly made Tiantian balls that rarely made it all the way home, just to name a few.

Eleme: Having a pizza delivered is one thing, but Eleme delivered it all. What a great way to try out all the various Chinese dishes within a 5km radius, and all without having to get dressed!

f
Festivals

Festivals: After almost two years in China I can safely say the US just doesn’t have enough festivals. I’m going to miss all the talk about Chinese traditions and questions about whether or not I ate the respective holiday snacks: mooncakes, dumplings, zongzi, etc. I’ll also miss all the red and yellow.

Gaotie: Gaotie, or high-speed trains, are my absolute favorite way to travel, and I’ll miss them sorely. From the odd overhead announcements to the constant smell of instant noodles “cooking”, I will be thinking (and talking) about Chinese train travel for years to come.

Hotpot: How could we not miss the experience that is going out to hotpot with friends? From deciding which ingredients are okay for Dani to try to testing just how spicy we can go, it doesn’t seem to get old. Although the food itself is delicious and something that will certainly be missed, the time with our friends is even harder to let go of.

i
Insanity

Insanity: China’s crazy! Well, it can be crazy – travel during Golden Week and you’ll see (really even Saturdays at the grocery store or a weekday in rush hour counts as insanity for me), but I’m going to miss it for sure. The atmosphere created when you’re surrounded by so many other people just doing their thing is really something I’ve learned to appreciate. “People mountain, people sea” will be missed, but I’m happy to have been a part of these tides at least for awhile.

Jianbing: Specific street foods are always something we crave, and for me the Chinese street food I’ll miss the most is Jianbing (a crepe-like folded sandwich thing that usually has a crispy cracker in the center). Somehow I always seem to eat them early in the morning when we’re on our way somewhere quick, so I associate them with big events and on-the-go eating, which are just two more things I’ll miss about our time spent in China.

Kaishui: Someone recently asked why I still don’t drink hot water (“kaishui”), and I responded with a loud “I do!” When I’m sick, it’s my new favorite thing to drink, and if that’s not enough, just let me say how much I’ll miss having it readily available for my tea. From classrooms and offices to trains and airports, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle life without the possibility of a cup of tea wherever I am.

l
Luxing (Traveling)

Luxing: Speaking of trains and planes, I will miss traveling (“luxing”) around China immensely. What an incredibly beautiful (and vast) country this is. I’ll forever talk about the high speed trains, English signs and maps, and ultimately how easy China made it for me and Tucker to simply take it all in.

Malls: I never really understood the importance of malls until I moved abroad. In the US I never went to a mall – foreign brands? Foreign foods? Who needs them? Now I know: expats do! I also love that I now associate Starbucks, Pizzahut, and Walmart with malls! Thanks China!

n
Noodles

Noodles: How will I live without my daily bowl of Chinese noodles? Cheap, delicious, and widely available, I eat a lot of noodles here, and I will definitely miss my favorites when we go. Chongqing mian, dandan mian, niurou banmian; I’m going to have to work through my withdrawals carefully.

Our Home: Hefei is without a doubt my favorite city in China even though I know no local believes me when I say that. It will forever be one of our homes, and the Chinese city we know the best; therefore, it’s my favorite. Whenever we get back to Hefei after traveling we always say “home sweet Hefei”, and that’s what it is: a pretty sweet place to live.

Pengyou: This time leaving our pengyou (“friends”) behind is much harder than before because unlike most of the other places we’ve lived, where we can easily stay connected with the people we’ve met with Facebook or Instagram, China will be different. I will miss reading my friends daily WeChat moments, I will miss being able to share in the seasonal rituals like the uploading of weather events, and I will definitely miss the last minute plans to get together just for fun.

q
Qingwen (Excuse me, may I ask?)

Qingwen: Qingwen means “excuse me, may I ask…”, and it’s a phrase we have used A LOT during our time in China. Although I probably won’t miss the phrase itself, I will miss the ability to ask strangers for help no matter how small or obvious the solution is. We have been helped far and wide in China (we’ve even had a server cut up our food for us), and I will miss this particular brand of hospitality immensely.

RMB: Renmenbin, the people’s currency, has been good to us. It doesn’t take a lot of money to have a really nice life in China – going out with friends, traveling to nearby tourist locations, and so many of the fun parts of our China experience were so easy to do (and do often) because they were extremely affordable. I’ll definitely miss all the quick, cheap fun we’ve had.

s
Shufa (calligraphy)

Shufa: Shufa is “calligraphy”, which I’ll miss seeing on every hotel and restaurant wall, but more than that, I’ll miss the characters themselves. There is nothing that warms a Linguist’s heart quite like an ancient and unique writing system. Literally everything around me is an interesting language puzzle to solve, and although Tucker might not miss the headaches that caused, I’ll certainly miss the challenge!

Taxi Drivers: Our “paid friends”, as someone once put it, will definitely be missed. I really enjoyed my chats with drivers all around the country. My Chinese isn’t great, but it’s easy to ask about someone’s kids and let them do all the talking. I also appreciate all those drivers who took their time to teach us new vocabulary or pronunciation details – we have used it all!

u
Uniqueness

Uniqueness: China’s weird! And I love it! I’ve never seen a place that mixes extremes in such a way, and I love how much I have learned from that. I’ll miss the uniqueness of China, and I’ll do my best to continue sharing how awesome being a little different can be.

Visas: I will certainly miss the small piece of paper that allows us to travel freely in and out of this country, and I truly hope to get another one soon. It’s always hard to leave, but it’s especially hard when you can’t necessarily come back whenever you want. Here’s to an upcoming paperwork session!

WeChat Pay: The ease, the security, the practicality, I will miss WeChat Pay more than I can even write right now. I have often said WeChat is the lifeblood of China, and I stand by that. It allowed us to be independent, yet even more connected to the people and culture. I love all the surprised looks we get when we ask, “Weixin keyi ma?”.

x
Xuesheng (students)

Xuesheng: My students (“xuesheng”)! The first group I turn to for cultural/logistical questions! The real reason I do what I do! I will miss spending every week laughing at the cultural faux pas I make, bonding over the non-temperature controlled classrooms, and working together to learn and build their language skills. My students are very fast to tell me they love me, and as culturally awkward as it is for me to return the favor, I do love them, and will miss our class (and non-class) times immensely.

Yellow Mountain: The image I will carry in my head of Anhui province is one of Huangshan (Yellow Mountain). It is arguably one of the most beautiful places in China, and is central to a lot of Eastern China’s history. I’ll miss the fact that it’s only a two hour train ride away, but at least I’ll have a beautiful visual to share when I talk about my people and home in Anhui.

z
Zhongguo Wenhua (Chinese culture)

Zhongguo Wenhua: “Chinese culture” is the only way I could sum up the rest of the things we’re going to miss. We’ve learned so much and have had an incredible time getting to know this country, some of its people, and their culture. From the small things like abundantly available hotel slippers to the large things like the value of community, I’m so thankful for the perspectives we’ve gained and the time we’ve spent in China.

中国,我们已经想念你了。

China, we miss you already.

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We’re in China! Round Two:

We’re back! Back in China, back in Hefei, back at Anhui University, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m so thankful I was given the opportunity to extend my fellowship until June 2019, and I definitely plan to make the most of it! In fact, I thought I’d even share a little bit about my plans for the next ten months, partially in the hope that putting them in writing will make them come true and partially so that when I look back I can justify my exhaustion!

3
Workshop in Beijing

First, I plan to do my job, of course. Much like last year, my job consists of both teaching and teacher-training. I’ll be teaching courses like Critical Thinking and Writing, Public Speaking and Debate, and English Stylistics to undergraduates at Anhui University. I’ll also be working with my colleagues at AHU to coordinate the English Corner, help coach the student representatives for various national competitions, and ultimately join in whenever and wherever my help is needed. This semester I have an even larger group of students, but I’m super excited to get back into teaching! Now that I have a year’s worth of experience teaching at Anda, I’m ready to try out a few new ideas as well – I hope they’re ready! In addition my duties at the university, this year I’ve also been made a “Fellow Coordinator”, which means that I get to help the new Fellows ease into their China/fellowship lives and help organize and relay various outreach projects within China/Mongolia.

2
Some of last year’s students

 

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Some of my amazing colleagues

I also hope to go a bit beyond just doing my job and leave something that lasts within the program as well as at Anhui University. I’m dedicated to making as many teacher-to-teacher connections as possible, so that when I leave, there will still be a clear link for sharing ideas, resources, and information. I’m working on creating an online Anhui English Teachers’ group as well as organizing a province-wide conference, where teachers can get together and build lasting relationships in addition to working on their professional development. I’m the only Fellow in my province, so I feel a certain responsibility to make sure I share everything I have with my fellow Anhui teachers. I’m really hoping to create as many opportunities for them as possible, which will hopefully mean a lot of collaboration throughout the year.

4
 It never gets old!

Additionally, I hope to see more of China. If you know me, you know I like new places, and China is full of new places! Tucker and I are already planning several trips throughout the next year (some work-related, others just for fun), but all are very special to me because it’s usually during these trips that I can relax and remember the “cultural exchange” aspect of my fellowship. As far as in-country travel goes, we’ve made a list and hope to visit the cities of Chengdu, Chongqing, Guilin, Qingdao, Macau, and Xining (and more if we possibly can!). Of course, while we’re still in East Asia, there are a few out-of-country destinations I’m hoping to visit as well, starting with a trip to the Philippines in January! 🙂

More than just travel though, I haven’t lost sight of the fact that I’m living immersed in such an interesting and vast culture! This year there are many ways I’m hoping to experience more of what China has to offer, such as by joining AHU’s badminton team, attending a Chinese opera, learning to make dumplings, volunteering at local animal shelter, and continuing to explore life in our home city. We’ve already made some amazing, lifelong friends, and I want to take this year to really enjoy our time with them, learning and doing all sorts of new things. I’m also still diligently working on my Mandarin skills with the hope of taking the HSK before we leave – one of my more lofty goals, but we’ll see how it goes!

Finally, and rather importantly, I hope to spend some time planning for the future. Tucker and I have decided to move to a new place after this fellowship year is up, but we haven’t fully decided on where. Technically it’s Tucker’s turn to decide, so he’s already working on updating his resume and hunting down our next opportunity. Of course, I’ll soon have to join him in some of the mundane prepping-to-move tasks, but for now, I’m just focusing on not letting the time slip by. We have so much still to do in China, and I’m beyond excited for it all! Here’s to a successful round two!

Re-learning the American Way

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Western culture = beer on the porch

Tucker and I eased our way back into Western culture this summer by spending three weeks in Australia followed by almost a month back in the States, and while we happily gorged ourselves on some of our favorite food and drinks, we also noticed some distinct changes in our behavior and perspectives this time around. This phenomenon is typically called reverse culture shock (when you return to your home culture after getting used to a new one), and although we had actually experienced this a bit in the past, this time I was determined to not only experience it but also take note of what things stuck out to us as clear effects of living immersed in a different way of life. As usual, in my head I’ve grouped these things in some arbitrary way in order to more clearly share them, and the three main areas of change I’ve come up with regarded: our eating habits, our annoyance at inefficiencies, and a shift in our manners.

 

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Those tacos tho…

Eating Habits: One large area of difference between American and Chinese culture lies in the food and eating. Upon our return to the US we realized there are a few things that we found it hard to get used to again when it comes to food and drink. Ice in water, for example, is way too cold, and it feels like you get less water (ugh, waiting for the ice to melt – who has time for that?). Another thing we immediately missed upon ordering in an American restaurant was that we didn’t order and eat together. It’s sort of an every person for themselves situation, which now feels a little lonely and much more complicated when the bill comes. Tucker also realized he had picked up some Chinese habits when we were out to eat in Australia one night. In the middle of dinner, he started putting his discarded food items on the table rather than in a napkin or on the edge of his plate. I laughed, knowing his reasoning was because that’s what we do in China, but I’m sure the Aussie waitress was thinking, “what is wrong with that guy!”

 

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Why no WeChat Pay?

Annoying Inefficiencies: Another somewhat general category I identified had to do with the speed/way some things are done in the US. Maybe we wouldn’t have ever noticed if we didn’t spend a year in China, but there were some really obvious points of frustration for us upon our return. First, having to pay with a credit card felt as bad as standing there and writing a check. It’s so much slower than the simple scan of a QR code! We were also surprised at how inconvenient it was to have to drive everywhere. Traffic became much more irritating, someone had to shoulder the responsibility of driving, and without practice, we found that we even forget to monitor the gas situation! The third inefficiency that really grated on our nerves almost as soon as we got back was the ineptitude and inefficiency of lines. Say what you will about the crowds in China, but this place knows how to move people! We waited in much shorter lines in the US for much more time than it would have taken in China. At one point, I was also reminded that Americans are not quite as independent as I had previously thought because the airport staff in multiple US cities chose to herd every single individual into the designated waiting areas (slowly and somewhat apathetically) rather than just letting the masses fill in the available spaces naturally.

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Even more difficult when on the wrong side of the road!
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Definitely an American…

 

Forgetting Our Manners: The last bit of reverse culture shock we noticed revolved around our manners. There were several instances where we completely missed our public duty of saying “bless you” because in China (like many other cultures) it’s a bit rude to comment on bodily functions. I was also caught a few times using language in public that perhaps I wouldn’t have used in the same situation a year ago…it’s amazing how being surrounded by people who don’t understand you can desensitize you to that sort of thing! (To the lady I startled in Target with my English swear words, I’m so sorry! And to the people I perhaps gave too much information to on the flight home – sorry again!) Finally, the last difference that completely took me by surprise was the choice of small talk topics. In China we pretty much stay on subjects like family, hometowns, vacations, etc., but immediately when surrounded by those heading back to the US, it was back to politics, the news, and lots of really direct questions that after a year of light, indirect conversation felt super personal and sometimes rude.

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Here’s to more Chinese adventures!

Of course, now that we’re back in China I suppose we’re undergoing reverse, reverse culture shock (like forgetting to carry toilet paper with me everywhere I go and ignoring the slight hand cramp I have after using chopsticks for the first time in months), but overall the more we go back and forth, the more I notice about all the cultures with which I’m familiar. It’s a huge part of why I prefer living abroad to traveling abroad – there’s so much deeper we can go when learning about ourselves and all the amazing customs in the world, and lucky me, I get to do it all again with another year immersed in the Far East!