US-Canada Differences Revisited

Years ago, we came to Canada to see if it might be a place we’d want to move to in the future. During that month-long trip, we noticed many differences between Canada and the US, which ultimately piqued our interest enough to start the immigration paperwork. Of course, we had no idea that we’d be derailed by a pandemic and end up in Mexico for a few years first; alas, we eventually moved to Ottawa and recently celebrated one year of living in this beautiful city!

Quickly becoming honorary Ottawans

As always, the first year in a new place brings about so many fun new challenges and observations, which, of course, we did our best to keep track of! And in honor of our CAnniversary, I thought I’d share some of the most salient differences we’ve experienced as Americans living in Ottawa.

Differences in Administration:

  • One of the very first differences we encountered was when we went to make a copy of the key to our new apartment. They told us it was a “secure key”, which meant they’d have to contact the building’s board to make sure we were on the list of tenants, and thus legally able to copy the key. So thorough!
  • No matter how long we live outside the US, we still struggle with anything other than the month-day-year formula. When I see 10/4, I automatically think October, not my birthday.
  • We were also really confused the first time we looked at an expiration date that said “MA 2024”. Is that March or May?? In Canada, the months are abbreviated JA FE MR AL MA JN JL AU SE OC NO DE to make it work in both English and French.
  • Although we had experienced something like this in other countries, we were still surprised to learn that Canada doesn’t have joint tax filing. Tucker and I had to file separately even though my payment came from the same account his refund will be going to.

Differences in Cars & Driving:

  • After years in Mexico, driving in Canada felt like going back to beginner mode. In fact, there are some things that make us feel like drivers here are not really trusted to make good decisions, like the fact that there are more “no right on red” signs here than we’ve ever seen in our lives.
  • Another immediately obvious difference was the lack of locking clips on the gas pumps. Most gas stations force you to hold the nozzle the whole time you’re pumping (yes, even in -10° weather).
  • Something we’ve long gotten used to, but is still a pretty big US-CAN difference is the use of the metric system here. Our car, which was bought in FL, prominently displays miles per hour, thus we’ve gotten really good at converting on the go.
  • We also were surprised to learn that in some provinces of Canada winter tires are not just recommended, they’re mandatory. We had to provide proof of purchase to our insurance company as well.

Differences in Communication:

  • In our first week in Canada, strangers asked us questions at least 10 times in 10 different places (on the metro, in Canadian Tire, etc.), and it definitely surprised us. It’s common to talk to strangers in the US and Mexico, but to ask for anything other than directions or small talk felt different.
  • Canada (or at least the parts we’ve been to thus far) absolutely loves reservations! A place could be entirely empty at eleven a.m. on a weekday, but when you walk in, they’ll still ask you if you have a reservation. Only recently have I been able to suppress my eyeroll.
  • I’ve already shared some of my favorite Canadian English phrases, but I also have to mention how noticeable the pronunciation of some words is as well. The Canadian “soorry” will forever be engrained in my head!
  • And then there’s the bilingual bit. Always seeing street signs like “rue Clarence st” and Coke cans that say “goût original” definitely reminds us we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Differences in Allegiance:  

  • There are probably many Americans who pay attention to celebrities, but I’d bet that even the most Hollywood-centric Americans likely don’t keep close track of where those celebrities are from. Canadians do though. If you so much as mention someone who happens to be from Canada, you can be pretty certain that fact will soon be pointed out.
  • In a difference that feels somewhat related to the previous one, Canadians seem a little touchy when it comes to comparisons with the US. I imagine it must be like growing up with a famous, somewhat annoying older sibling always stealing the spotlight, which anyone would resent.
  • Another clear difference comes from the past. Despite having separated from the UK over 150 years ago, the royal presence is still absolutely felt here. Canada has both a national anthem and a royal anthem (which, you guessed it, is “God Save the King”). Queen Elizabeth II is on several pieces of Canadian currency, and there are plans to get King Charles III on at least one bill by 2027. And some of the most popular streets around us include George, King Edward, and Queen Street. 
  • Of course, the governments are also quite different, but that’s a long, boring topic for another time. For now, I’ll just say that one interesting difference is that the liberal party here is red and the conservative is blue. Not confusing at all…

Differences in Environment:

  • Another surprise early on in our move was when we received a pamphlet explaining all the city recycling rules, dates, exceptions, etc. There are even hazardous waste or electronic waste pick-up days and Christmas tree collection/composting!
  • Something else we noticed last summer and are eager to see if it holds true again was that any time we went to a restaurant with outdoor seating, they automatically assumed that would be our first choice.
  • In general, Canadians are very nonchalant about the weather, whatever it is. Freezing rain isn’t a reason to miss work or a night out with friends, okay? Just give’er!
  • Another difference (that we absolutely love!) is the abundance of seasonal menus. The food, the drinks, the specials all change with the seasons, which has actually given Tucker a reason to go back to places we’ve already been. Hooray!
Just your average day in January

Misc. Differences:

  • Here in Ontario, milk comes in bags. It’s incredibly unwieldy and honestly way too much milk (three 1.33 liter bags), but it’s definitely different.
  • Canada no longer has a penny. And can I just say, I don’t think anyone misses it. It’s time for the US to do the same.
  • Another interesting difference is the fact that the legal drinking age differs by province, and all of them are lower than the US’s standard of 21.
  • And one more difference that must be mentioned, but not in full because that would take much too long is the healthcare. Pretty much every aspect of it is different, but I think our biggest shock so far was when the dentist gave us both free Sonicare toothbrushes.

Bet you didn’t think I’d have that much to say about the differences between Canada and the US! Honestly, just like every other country we’ve lived in, the longer we’re here, the more differences become apparent. But also like our other homes, we’re quickly adapting to our surroundings and carefully choosing our favorite cultural gems to adopt and take with us to our next home. O Canada – thanks for a great first year!

America in Ten Words

Intro
One Cool American

Earlier this year I read China in Ten Words by Hua Yu, which I would highly recommend! It’s a short collection of personal stories centered around ten words that the author feels represent China and its history, people, culture, etc. As someone who (at the time) was living in China and had spent the previous two years learning all about said culture, I absolutely loved reading from the perspective of Yu, a native Chinese. He touched on so many of the things I have shared in my various posts and gave new meaning to some of the things Tucker and I experienced ourselves as residents in China. In short, I loved it so much that I thought maybe I could join Yu in sharing a bit about my own culture or at least how I, one American, view it.

Honestly, this is a slight departure for me because I typically choose to write about my discoveries and observations on places and cultures that I am newly discovering myself, but this required a different sort of reflection. Even though I definitely can’t live up to Hua Yu’s work with one short blog post, I hope to share a few of the traits and characteristics (in no particular order) that, for me, make America, America.

#1 Independent

IndependentAs an English teacher I’m often asked to describe the United States and Americans, and for as long as I can remember, the first word that has come to mind is: independent. We love to feel independent! Independent financially, politically, emotionally; in our families, in our workplace, and in the world. Many of us longed to “be out on our own” at a very young age, and most Americans follow that course throughout their lives. We love expressions like “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” and “stand on your own two feet”. In our culture, there is an immense pride in (and often an expectation to) figure things out on our own. Whether this comes from the pioneer spirit of our history or from Hollywood’s “steal the spotlight” mentality, we can see the strong value placed on independence in all aspects of American lives. From our first declaration as a prospective country to our preference for ordering individual, non-shared meals, we focus every day on our individuality and personal independence, and if ever we feel it’s being threatened, look out.

#2 Entertainment

EntertainmentYou might have noticed that I didn’t get very far into this post without mentioning Hollywood. As much as many Americans like to think of that place as somehow “other”, the truth is, we are massive consumers (and producers) of entertainment, all thanks to Tinseltown. In fact, many of my students from all over the world have surprised me with facts and details about life in the US that were gleaned entirely from our movies and TV; some have even confessed that’s how they started learning English or even why they continue today. Of course, what they see in the movies is not always true to American life, but there are definitely many of our values and perspectives shared through our obsession with entertainment. It’s hard to imagine America without movie trailers, award shows, film conventions, and dedicated fandoms. As someone who hasn’t seen such American classics as the Godfather, Stars Wars, or Top Gun, I’ve been described a few times as “simply unamerican”, but I promise I’ll get to them eventually!

#3 Direct

Being told I’m unamerican (even jokingly) to my face brings me to my next Americanism. We are a direct people. After living in China for a few years, I know this to be absolutely true of Americans. We like to be told upfront, no matter what it is, and often regardless of how it’s said. I’ve heard people refer to Americans as blunt or straightforward, and although we aren’t always trying to be, we are often quite direct in our daily lives. Imagine communicating with someone (a family member, a colleague, or even a stranger) and not being able to figure out what they mean. You would probably want to shake them and say “stop beating around the bush” or “just break it to me”. We have a certain intolerance for ambiguousness coupled with the idea that things should be said and done as efficiently as possible, feelings be damned. This is why in our culture it’s perfectly normal to decline invitations or to challenge a superior. We would rather ruffle some feathers right off the bat than leave things vague or unclear.

#4 Patriotic

PatrioticAnother trait that I associate with America is our deep patriotism. We love our flag, our national anthem, and the values that we have long attached to our country, such as freedom, perseverance, and justice. Although patriotism means something a little different to each of us, as Americans this is our home, and we feel a certain pride and responsibility in that. Whether we show these feelings by hanging a flag outside our house, voting in every election, or representing our values abroad, we all like to feel that we have a role to play for America, and we’re happy to do it. Perhaps because we grew up with stories of how hard our forefathers, suffragettes, and civil rights activists fought for us to have what we have today, the sense that we need to take up the baton and continue to work for a better homeland has been deeply instilled. Or who knows, maybe it was just hearing that Lee Greenwood song year after year.

#5 Dreamers

DreamersAlthough this word has taken on new meaning and significance in the last few years, the American Dream and the people who embody it are not new, nor I think are they bound by political lines. America was founded on dreams: dreams of a new nation, dreams of equal representation, dreams of prosperity. We can still hear the US referred to as a “Land of Opportunity” from both inside and out. We love the fact that “if you can dream it, you can do it”, and thanks to our lack of a formal class system, many Americans have been able to make it happen all throughout our history. Most of us have immigrants in our ancestry, which is maybe one of the most classic versions of the American Dream. Others have seen their dreams come true in regards to socioeconomic status or overall success. Just like independence, Americans value people who dream big and work hard to make it happen. In short, we believe dreams can come true.

#6 Divided

Divided 2Dreams are wonderful, but all dreams are based in some sort of reality. And for Americans, right now that reality is a strong division. Party lines are more evident than ever, generation gaps and racial divides exist, and there’s no doubt that whatever the topic of conversation, people tend to divide up into various groups or “sides”. We have the Left and the Right, Boomers and Millennials, white collar and blue collar, Black and white, gay and straight, religious and non-religious, and so many other labels that, like it or not, separate us in some way from our fellow Americans. Although we are the “United” States and a supposed “Melting Pot”, many events have recently been shining a spotlight on our divisions and differences instead. Diversity can often beget division, or at least the perception of division, but I think we’re all also aware of the classic “United we stand; divided we fall”. Trends change everyday, and we can change as well.

Divided
At least Atlanta can be pretty United!

#7 Private

Another American feature that stands out to me is our penchant for privacy. On the whole, Americans are quite private (even with the growing popularity of oversharing on social media). We like privacy fences and secure passwords, and we fear Alexa and Siri are gleaning too much information from us. We have all sorts of privacy laws and generally feel that keeping things to ourselves is one of our inalienable rights. I often have students ask me “how old are you?”, “how much do you make?”, “why don’t you have kids?” and other such questions that, as an American, leave me feeling like my privacy has been breached. We talk about “personal boundaries” and “invasions of privacy” fairly regularly – both in the physical and figurative senses. It’s typically very clear to Americans where “the line” is and our use of small talk often demonstrates it: weather, sports, family members – all good; religion, politics, or anything “too personal”, strictly off the table.

#8 Friendly

Friendly
Super friendly (and patriotic)

Although we might like keeping things to ourselves at times, we are usually still quite good at small talk and making friends. From the outside looking in, Americans are often viewed as very friendly. We’re often smiling for no reason, making jokes with strangers about the broken elevator, or lending a hand in the form of opening doors for others or picking up something that has been dropped. Basically, we’re masters at “Meet-Cute Stories”. I think the reason we often come across as overly friendly is because we’re all pretty much willing to do these things regardless of where we are, who we’re with, or what we’re doing. We also tend to retell these little anecdotes throughout the rest of our day: “I ran into a man at the gas station, and you’ll never guess what he said…”, “Sorry, I’m late. I was chatting with a woman outside.”, etc. And don’t even get me started on what it’s like when two Americans meet while abroad; you’d think they had just met their long-lost cousin!

#9 Isolated

The US is big and only has two neighbors, a bit of a rarity in terms of geography, and these facts play into my next feature of “Americanness”: isolation. A large portion of Americans never feel the need to leave their homeland (and why would they with the bounty of things to do and see right at home?) or even keep track of what’s going on outside of their immediate surroundings. However, this tendency to face inward seems to contribute to a bit of ignorance about the rest of the world. You might have seen Jimmy Kimmel testing Americans on world geography, which as a geography nerd, definitely makes me cringe, but unlike other countries whose histories and even present day dealings have required a much more thorough knowledge of their surrounding nations, for Americans, it has rarely mattered (of course with increasing globalization that is changing every day). However, regardless of the underlying reasons, Americans can definitely be said to be “in our own little world”.

#10 Innovative

InnovativePerhaps because we’ve always been in our own little world, the US has also been a hotbed for inventiveness and creativity right from its start. From Thomas Edison and Clara Barton to Bill Gates and Katie Bouman, Americans have contributed a great deal to global innovation. Even the average American likes to think and talk about the future, and we always, as Walt Disney famously said, “keep moving forward”. It’s no wonder our people were among the first to take to the skies, race to space, and create all types of digital media. We simply love to take risks and try something new. We have the phrase “necessity is the mother of invention”, but in America, it might not even require necessity.

Innovative 2
Who could ever forget this incredible innovation?

So that’s my list. Of course, there are about a hundred words I sifted through before deciding on these ten! America is complicated; culture is complicated! And we can’t always fit everything into ten neat little categories. But maybe we can agree that reflection and openness can be great for developing a better understanding of ourselves and our communities. I would love to see some of the words you would add to your “America in 10 Words” list, or if you’re from another country, what words would you assign to your culture? We have a lot we can learn from each other’s perspectives, and I can’t wait to continue shifting mine!

Map
???

Re-learning the American Way

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Western culture = beer on the porch

Tucker and I eased our way back into Western culture this summer by spending three weeks in Australia followed by almost a month back in the States, and while we happily gorged ourselves on some of our favorite food and drinks, we also noticed some distinct changes in our behavior and perspectives this time around. This phenomenon is typically called reverse culture shock (when you return to your home culture after getting used to a new one), and although we had actually experienced this a bit in the past, this time I was determined to not only experience it but also take note of what things stuck out to us as clear effects of living immersed in a different way of life. As usual, in my head I’ve grouped these things in some arbitrary way in order to more clearly share them, and the three main areas of change I’ve come up with regarded: our eating habits, our annoyance at inefficiencies, and a shift in our manners.

 

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Those tacos tho…

Eating Habits: One large area of difference between American and Chinese culture lies in the food and eating. Upon our return to the US we realized there are a few things that we found it hard to get used to again when it comes to food and drink. Ice in water, for example, is way too cold, and it feels like you get less water (ugh, waiting for the ice to melt – who has time for that?). Another thing we immediately missed upon ordering in an American restaurant was that we didn’t order and eat together. It’s sort of an every person for themselves situation, which now feels a little lonely and much more complicated when the bill comes. Tucker also realized he had picked up some Chinese habits when we were out to eat in Australia one night. In the middle of dinner, he started putting his discarded food items on the table rather than in a napkin or on the edge of his plate. I laughed, knowing his reasoning was because that’s what we do in China, but I’m sure the Aussie waitress was thinking, “what is wrong with that guy!”

 

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Why no WeChat Pay?

Annoying Inefficiencies: Another somewhat general category I identified had to do with the speed/way some things are done in the US. Maybe we wouldn’t have ever noticed if we didn’t spend a year in China, but there were some really obvious points of frustration for us upon our return. First, having to pay with a credit card felt as bad as standing there and writing a check. It’s so much slower than the simple scan of a QR code! We were also surprised at how inconvenient it was to have to drive everywhere. Traffic became much more irritating, someone had to shoulder the responsibility of driving, and without practice, we found that we even forget to monitor the gas situation! The third inefficiency that really grated on our nerves almost as soon as we got back was the ineptitude and inefficiency of lines. Say what you will about the crowds in China, but this place knows how to move people! We waited in much shorter lines in the US for much more time than it would have taken in China. At one point, I was also reminded that Americans are not quite as independent as I had previously thought because the airport staff in multiple US cities chose to herd every single individual into the designated waiting areas (slowly and somewhat apathetically) rather than just letting the masses fill in the available spaces naturally.

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Even more difficult when on the wrong side of the road!

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Definitely an American…

 

Forgetting Our Manners: The last bit of reverse culture shock we noticed revolved around our manners. There were several instances where we completely missed our public duty of saying “bless you” because in China (like many other cultures) it’s a bit rude to comment on bodily functions. I was also caught a few times using language in public that perhaps I wouldn’t have used in the same situation a year ago…it’s amazing how being surrounded by people who don’t understand you can desensitize you to that sort of thing! (To the lady I startled in Target with my English swear words, I’m so sorry! And to the people I perhaps gave too much information to on the flight home – sorry again!) Finally, the last difference that completely took me by surprise was the choice of small talk topics. In China we pretty much stay on subjects like family, hometowns, vacations, etc., but immediately when surrounded by those heading back to the US, it was back to politics, the news, and lots of really direct questions that after a year of light, indirect conversation felt super personal and sometimes rude.

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Here’s to more Chinese adventures!

Of course, now that we’re back in China I suppose we’re undergoing reverse, reverse culture shock (like forgetting to carry toilet paper with me everywhere I go and ignoring the slight hand cramp I have after using chopsticks for the first time in months), but overall the more we go back and forth, the more I notice about all the cultures with which I’m familiar. It’s a huge part of why I prefer living abroad to traveling abroad – there’s so much deeper we can go when learning about ourselves and all the amazing customs in the world, and lucky me, I get to do it all again with another year immersed in the Far East!

 

Stereotypes – What do Poles Think about Americans?

Stereotypes (or generalizations applied to any group) can be hurtful, dangerous, and (more often than not) completely inaccurate. However, being aware of stereotypes and discussing the reasons they’re held and perpetuated can lead to less prejudice and judgement, and more insight and compassion. In this post, I’m hoping to shed some light on certain national stereotypes, particularly ones held by Poles about Americans. My hope is that by reading the stereotypes others have for us (which we know are not completely accurate), we might start to rethink some stereotypes we hold for other groups (which are also inaccurate). To compile this list, Tucker and I spoke to many of our friends, colleagues, and students here in Poland about some of the most common perceptions and stereotypes Poles (and other Eastern Europeans) have for the United States and Americans:

Aggressive and gun-loving: Many people in Poland feel that Americans are, in general, aggressive and somewhat forceful in the way they behave. Be it in a conversation or in a meeting at work, we seemingly assert ourselves at times and in ways that Poles might not. Many people also threw “gun-loving” in with the aggression. It seems most Poles believe everyone in the US owns a gun, and that we’re very proud of that fact.

Avid movie-goers/TV watchers: For Poles, the great American pastime is obviously watching movies. Many Poles are surprised when I tell them I don’t go to the movies every week or even every month back home. They also believe Americans spend the majority of their downtime at home watching TV. Their attitudes towards this tendency aren’t necessarily negative though, as it seems they feel like we have TV programs that are worth watching. Hmm.

Carefree and informal: According to Poles, Americans are quite carefree. We don’t choose to spend our time brooding or reflecting on the world’s problems. Instead we are very focused on our immediate environments and are likely to make sure we have time for fun. Americans are also seen as very informal; we tend to talk to our friends, our bosses, and strangers we’ve just met in the same way.

Diverse and accepting: In Poland, the United States is seen as a very diverse place, with people from different backgrounds all living together; however, there doesn’t seem to be such a favorable opinion of this. Many Poles link our diversity to some larger national issues like security and political correctness. Yet, at the same time this same diversity is seen to have bred a willingness to accept anyone as a fellow American.

Fast food-aholics: Poles usually believe we all eat McDonald’s or something like it everyday. They’re not very interested in the variety of restaurants or the seemingly healthy options either. To Poles, pizza and hamburgers are junk food, no matter who makes them or what goes into them. Even the food we eat at home seems like “fast food” to many Poles. Soup in a can? Pre-packaged croutons? Don’t we make anything ourselves?

Lazy: On the topic of not doing anything for ourselves, many Poles think Americans are a bit lazy. We buy already prepared food, we hire people to do the simplest repairs, and we drive everywhere (even to the mailbox). Our laziness is evident even in the clothes we choose to wear: sweatpants to the grocery store, t-shirts year round, slip on gym shoes – all adds up to the picture of a lazy American.

Optimistic: Similar to our being seen as carefree, Poles also describe Americans as optimistic. Whatever situation we’re in, we’re likely to spout out things like “everything will work out in the end” or “I prefer to see the glass as half-full”. This tendency is often seen as a laughable trait, or in some cases actually comes off as “fake”.

Patriotic: According to Poles, Americans love America. Every day I surprise Poles with my decision to leave America long-term. We are seen as people who don’t care to leave our beloved country, and in order to show our love and pride, we all wear American flag t-shirts, have American flag bumper stickers, and play the national anthem at every gathering.

Google Images of “American stereotypes” are not pretty…

Rich: Many people in Poland also believe that Americans are rich. We don’t ever have to worry about money. How could we, when we’re going out to eat every day and to the movies every week? We are often perceived as having the newest technology, the biggest cars, and the nicest houses possible.

Smile a lot: When Poles think of Americans, they think of chronic smilers. We smile no matter what emotion we’re feeling, and many times without a reason at all. This seems to irritate some Poles and amuse others, but either way, it is one of the first things they use to identify Americans abroad.

Straightforward/Direct: Typically Poles describe Americans as direct or even blunt when they speak. Courtesy words and titles are just not needed in America; we make things happen by saying exactly what we mean with no flowery language or hesitation for other people’s feelings.

Uninformed: Perhaps in part because of our patriotism, we are also perceived as uninformed and egocentric. Most people believe that no one in the US would be able to point to Poland on a map, let alone discuss world issues in an objective manner. Americans are seen as narcissists who care only about things that affect them directly.

I’m sure every American who read this list thought (at least once), “This one doesn’t apply to me at all!”, and every Pole who read it (at one point or another) probably thought, “I don’t think that about Americans!” And that’s exactly the point. We can’t rely on stereotypes; what is true for some, is not necessarily true for all. People don’t fit so easily into the labels we create for them. Whether the stereotypes are based on nationality, religion, race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other group, we need to remember that everyone is an individual and should be treated as such. Being aware of the stereotypes that exist and not allowing them to affect our judgement will take us all one step closer to equality and peace worldwide. #Weareallhuman